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Posted by Ginose on July 16, 2013
Evil Dead
Evil Dead Some of the best re-worked material I've seen in a horror film, and easily the only thing Diablo Cody has written that didn't make me break-out in snarky-bitch hives, but the direction was fun and interesting, as was the gore. This is a hard 8 from me, or at least a high-7.
Posted by Ginose on July 10, 2013
Green Lantern
Green Lantern No. It is not. Hal Jordan's lantern origin could not have been easier to tell. This movie got bad reviews because it looks terrible, is paced awkwardly and pays absolutely no respect to the source material or any of the characters in it. This movie has kneecapped any hope we had of a Justice League movie in the near future, and "Man of Steel" has not renewed that hope.

That said, 1.8/10 for Mark Strong as the absolute best Sinestro we could have hoped for.
Posted by Ginose on August 19, 2012
Ghoulies
Ghoulies Fuck off. I liked it better then and I like it better now. It's not exactly as functional (or good) as "Gremlins", but I argue its tone and plot are considerably better managed than "Critters", which has just as many inane plot-points that are just less amusing. There's not much plot-worth between either, but if this movie were called something other than "Ghoulies" it'd still be put next to "Night of the Demons" and any other demonic haunted-house movie from the era. The only difference is this one marketed its puppets as the main focus of the film.
Posted by Ginose on July 27, 2012
The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises (ALSO SPOILERS)
Injured himself in the fall with Dent at the end of the first film. The "Dent Act" stopped most, if not all, organized crime in Gotham; Batman wasn't necessarily needed, but Wayne couldn't give him up. I don't think Catwoman as much other than a burglar would have worked here. Batman is hardly Batman in these, can you imagine Catwoman being her sexually-dominant and conniving self without enough time to root her as an anti-hero/villain? It just wouldn't have made much sense. Aside from that and disagreeing about Gordon-Levitt's performance/character being "horrible" instead of just "essentially useless" I completely agree with everything you said.
Posted by Ginose on June 05, 2012
Ultimate Avengers
Ultimate Avengers In this movie's defense, in terms of the Sam Jackson Fury, this one was... eh, sort of based on Millar's "The Ultimates" (as was Whedon's, to a much larger extent then I'm sure he's willing to admit), which was the first known existence of the Jackson Fury. Why Marvel's going all out with it in EVERYTHING lately is confusing me...but eh... Hasselhoff wasn't any better.
Always a fun watch, this one.
8.4/10
Posted by Ginose on March 26, 2012
Thor
Thor Loved the shit out of this. Alittle bit too much high-camp at places, which felt weird against the obviously expensive movie, but it was damned fun.
8.3/10
Posted by Ginose on March 26, 2012
Captain America: The First Avenger
Captain America: The First Avenger This is, easily, in my top five comic-adaptations of all time. They could not have possibly done a better "Captain America" movie.
10/10
Posted by Ginose on March 02, 2012
Suburban Commando
Suburban Commando "CHRIST, I WAS FROZEN TODAY"
Had to. Also, 7/10 for some sort of continued enjoyment I have for it.
Posted by Ginose on February 28, 2012
The Driller Killer
The Driller Killer Eeeeeeyeah. Gonna have to back Bill here. I think Ferrara, on average, is a fucking hack anyway... I've never liked "Driller Killer"... in the least. There are, however, MUCH worse video nasties out there. The notoriety of being a VN is all that keeps this one in the annals of horror.
2.9/10
Posted by Ginose on February 19, 2012
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) I second Billy Ray, on all counts. I also believe this one completely failed to even manage the stomach-turning it attempted, and just ended up being massively boring more than anything. The first one was cute in a lot of ways. Tongue-in-cheek jabs at its own exploitation roots and all. It's like this one assumed that its only sales point was enough to hoist a whole movie on... Good God was it not.
As a sequel, it aims to do nothing but sell its shit (LOL), as a movie... its just awful.
1/10 A solid point for being so laughably obnoxious that it actually added that one BIT of color. Fuck you, Six. Part three should probably be an actual movie.
Posted by Ginose on January 30, 2012
Predators
Predators Gotta back Billy-Ray here. I loved the hell out of this. I agree it dick-rode the original something terrible, but that didn't hardly effect my enjoyment of it in the least. It was just a great action-film and truly one of the best films with the Yaujta in a long time.
8.3/10
Posted by Ginose on February 10, 2011
Let Me In
Let Me In I think the atmosphere Reeve's created was sincere, but I don't think it was better. It felt alot more attached to the chracters then I cared for, but, as I said, this one did have it's merits. Where do you believe this one suceeded the original, Billy Ray?
Posted by Ginose on February 09, 2011
Let Me In
Let Me In I can't really agree with that either, though it may be part of it, mostly considering the fact that in this version there isn't even any indication that Abby is/was a boy at all (not your point, but I'm getting to it). Nothing aside from the rementioned line "I'm not a girl"... That's one of the things I felt was terribly insulting. Too much of the careful pacing and plot are ignored as to favor a more horr-heavy flavor that, frankly, the story just didn't need. Now, let's take those three (more or less) gore scenes in this one and compare it to the original film... which had one (that this one had to pump the fuck out of, as well) and for all the right reasons. Something I found utterly unbearable about this style was it's focus of the vampiric aspects of Abby. This made her truly faithful in adaptation at points, but at others made her a hell-beast. Doesn't this kind of counter-act her necissity for a Renfield? I mean, she seemed utterly capable whenever she needed be, as opposed to Eli, who seemed sickly when unfed and could only hunt through her cunning, making a human partner seem much more logical. Abby was scaling walls, decapitating and leaping from cheers before mauling prey. It all seemed so... silly. Like there needed to be more drive to prove that this was a vampire film rather then just accepting it as face value.
I say it again, this was a good movie, but an utterly unecissary remake. It idn't create anything new and just took away things that made the original a fantastic film. I would go so far as to say that Reeve's probably loved the source material, but it still felt like he had to dumb it down so Joe Movie-watcher and his bubbly-blonde girlfriend could enjoy it.
Posted by Ginose on February 08, 2011
Hatchet II
Hatchet II Well, I dunno about all THAT Ben, but a damned good sequel no doubt. I felt the budget might have had a bit of a stifle, and the gore department wasn't quite up to par with the last one, but this shit was fun on a bun, all the same.
7.9/10
Posted by Ginose on February 08, 2011
Let Me In
Let Me In Then you're probably going to prefer this to the original, but the pacing is pretty much he same, it just pumps it up as hard as possible. It feels like it was designed with you people (short attention spans) in mind, so it tries so hard to make sure enough is happening as to keep someone's attention so the story will keep constantly on your mind. I can't promise it works very well, but it didn't do much but piss me off. Can't promise you'll like it, but I'll say give it a shot if you didn't care for the original.
Posted by Ginose on February 08, 2011
Let Me In
Let Me In No. No, no, no and fuck you. No sir: I went in wanting to LOVE this movie. I gave it every benefit of the doubt. I was worried, at first, and then I heard all the actors involved as well as the fact that, like Amicus' remarkable return to grace with Stuart Gordon's "Stuck", this was Hammer's return to the mainstream horror world. I was more than ready to accept Moretz in another starring role after her fucking excellent turn as Hit-Girl, and I couldn't have asked for a better build-up for a remake of what was easily one of the greatest vampire films of the last several decades.
This was not what I wanted. Just about every chance he got, Reeve's pumped out as much gore and shock-scares as possible, which is the exact fucking opposite of what the original wanted to be. You've read the book, I hope? Well, neither were perfect transitions, but the original left the mystery and approached the subtlety of Eli's vampirism with a bit of fucking tact. Now, every chance we get to see it here become full on vampire goring. Why? To what ends? There's so little mystery left to her character. The approach of Oskar's attraction to Eli was hammed up to the point of being one of the most important aspect of this version, when it was so muted in the original because the story was about a much a romance as Frankenstein's monster's connection to his creator in the last act of the book... fuck.

I felt cheated because this was, in essence, the same as any American remake I've seen: It thinks everyone misunderstood the original and decides that we need it pandered to us as simply as possible, and providing much needed action and gore to keep the average viewer's attention. That was unnecissary. This was unnecissary. No one is that stupid. I thought this one was alright. Just alright. It did a huge disservice to the original, but it wasn't a bad movie. I don't think I'll ever watch it again, to be certain.
Posted by Ginose on February 07, 2011
Willard
Willard ...but that sucked.
Posted by Ginose on February 07, 2011
Willard
Willard This is, hands down, one of the greatest remakes of all time. Just watched this shit again, instead of the Super Bowl, and loved it as much as I did the first time. It's a bit more broad and blunt than the original, but that was the intention of the design. It was damned clever in it's handling of the material, and where the FUCK is Crispin Glover these days? "Hot Tub Time Machine"? Is that really all we're getting? Feh.
Excellent fucking movie.
9.2/10
Posted by Ginose on February 07, 2011
Let Me In
Let Me In And the first meeting at the playground... and the tunnel scene... and the part with the cop in her apartment... and basically every seen where she is a vampire.... Subtlety was completely lost to Reeves. It was almost cheesy in it's execution... I didn't love it, as it felt remarkably dumbed-down compared to the original.
A 6.Meh/10
Posted by Ginose on January 13, 2011
The Wolfman
The Wolfman ...no. No, I found this to be a good, blood-drenched monster movie.
7.8/10
Posted by Ginose on September 27, 2010
A Serbian Film
A Serbian Film Actually, a critque is giving an analysis based on your personal opinion. A review is a more objective analysis of a film's merits from all aspects of it.
Well, that's what I've always gathered the difference is. As that's normally the difference I've seen between the writings of film critics and film reviewers. I think a critic can stat an opinion that people respect based upon their knowledge of the medium, where as a reviewer explains how they felt about the film's individual components, thus, reviewing a movie rather than just telling people how they felt about it. I THOUGHT that's what it was, anyway... that's how I've been writing mine...
Posted by Ginose on September 14, 2010
A Serbian Film
A Serbian Film This movie was utterly pointless, profane, disgusting and served, in no way, to advance film as an art-form.
I still loved the fuck out of it.
Aside from being gorgeous, it was definately a test in the limits of bad taste, and it worked in wonderful ways. I wasn't bored once throughout, and found myself, ME, actually shocked by the movie as it went on. Not that it was anything deeply cerebral, but it was a glorious mind-fuck of exploitation and just plain nasty. The effects were great, the actign was actually pretty fantastic across the spread. All of the human drama and characterization of Milo and his family (brother included) were extremely realistic, and, overall this was just the type of morbid, horrific film that we need, to wash the boring torture-porn from our mouths and give us something exciting.
8/10
You crazy, Billy Ray. You crazy.
Posted by Ginose on September 05, 2010
Red Room
Red Room Meh. I can't say I was anywhere NEAR as impressed as Chad and the boys, but I thought it was decent. None of the stunts or shock moments were all that great and the ending was just kind of boringly predictable. (My lady mentioned a good bit of factual error: Having to do with the ending, and how, technically, the winner had already lost.) Overall, I would watch it again, but I didn't enjoy it anywhere near as much as the second.
5.5/10
Posted by Ginose on September 05, 2010
Red Room 2
Red Room 2 That ending was fucking awesome. I thought this was so much better than the first it hurt. I didn't think much of anything interesting happened in the first film, this one had alot going for it, was completely balls-to-the-wall and the ending had me laughing my ass off. I'm not sure what type of consistency or high-brow entertainment you all expected, but I thought it was great. Severely want a third.
7.7/10
Posted by Ginose on August 22, 2010
Phenomena
Phenomena I always thought this to actually be one of his better ones, to be honest. It was gorgeous, at times, and easily had one of the best soundtracks Goblin compossed (and that is a statement); truth is, I actually loved the story, one of the best giallo thrillers of the 80s, to say the least. 9/10
Posted by Ginose on August 22, 2010
Piranha
Piranha Dying to see this one, but been a bit too busy with school and work to really get a chance to go out. This one I'm going to make an exception for. I will see this movie. Aja has an extremely good track-record thus-far, and this looks to be the most wonderful kiss to b-movie fun that I have seen in so long.
...good to see you back, Billy Ray... there, I said it...
Posted by Ginose on August 14, 2010
G.P. 506
G.P. 506 Me and my lady watched this one yesterday. I thought it was well-made and, for the most part, a great character-driven thriller, but, like Chad, I was confused by the constant flashbacks wiht no indication towards which was which, and the last 20 minutes I saw from a mile away, so, meh, she seemed to like itmore than me, to be sure.
7.1/10
Posted by Ginose on August 14, 2010
True Blood: Season 1
True Blood: Season 1 First season was okay. Second and, so far, the third are terribly acted and shallowly cliche, right down to the characters and plot devices.
Enjoyed this season, alright, but I do not care for the show overall.
8/10
Posted by Ginose on May 05, 2010
Rescue From Gilligan's Island
Rescue From Gilligan's Island Well, I agree to disagree.
With the ever-so slight exception of Bob Denver (I give his performance a "just barely"), none of he characters seemed to have any of the energy or charisma that they had in the series, particularly lacking in the Professor and Skipper, who I just felt bad for.
You COULD try to argue that this was all because of the characters inability to readjust ot the hardships brought on by their long-speration from society, but we'd both know that that had little to no impact on anything that takes place in this movie...
I just can't agree... I love the series too much to agree.
Posted by Ginose on May 03, 2010
Rescue From Gilligan's Island
Rescue From Gilligan's Island I just watched this one a few months ago: Un-fucking-bearable.
I couldn't stand it, all the characters were re-animated corpses (in their execution) and it honestly felt like NONE of the actors wanted anything to do with this project. Not to mention I found it boring as hell. Love the series, as damn near everyone does, hated this to death.
1.9/10
Posted by Ginose on April 11, 2010
Wolfen
Wolfen This was a werewolf film?
No, I've never cared for "Wolfen". Saw it at a dollar-show when I was a wee-lad and it just wasn't much of a horror-movie. I was perplexed by exactaly WHAT the movie was trying to be, so I looked for the book, which helped all of nothing, in terms of plot or story, but it was a good read. The movie, however, is just boring. Drawn-out, preachy and ridiculous, but mostly just boring.
4.1/10
Posted by Ginose on April 08, 2010
Beowulf
Beowulf Know what t he worst part is? I REALLY wanted to give this one a chance. Then I did.

2.4/10
And has anyone here read the whole poem? Honestly? That shit is boring. Glad the movie did nothing more than pack the condensed version of the story in.
Posted by Ginose on April 08, 2010
Clash Of The Titans
Clash Of The Titans Uhhh... really? To me it looked like the classic-Kraken with less definition had fucked Cloverfield.
Posted by Ginose on April 04, 2010
The Collector
The Collector Well, I had fun with it. It was graphic enough for me to attempt to ignore all of the glaring plotholes and lack of setup for ANYONE/THING, but it still felt like a very poorly written affair. Sure, I can shut my brain off and enjoy a good splatterfest, but when I don't even get more than a 15-minute untroduction to the 7 or 8 victims in the movie? That's just poor script-structure. Like I said, liked it, will probably watch it again, sometime, but it wasn't anything I'd praise in terms of modern slasher films.
6.2/10
Posted by Ginose on April 01, 2010
Catalina: A New Kind Of Superhero
Catalina: A New Kind Of Superhero ...wow, I just realized how atrociopus that cover is.
Posted by Ginose on March 31, 2010
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day As a fairly large fan of "Boondock Saints", I'd say this is one of the most shamless, hollow and boring follow-ups to a cult-classic I've ever seen. Didn't like this one a bit, excluding the fact that one of the most un-Mexican Mexicans I've ever seen in my life somehow was expected to play a believable, pride-filled Mexican, the performance of which had me laughing myass off. Yeah, no, this one was pretty damned awful. None of the energy of the first and hardly any of the fun. Was kinda embarassed that I convinced my lady to watch it.
Posted by Ginose on March 30, 2010
Dog Soldiers
Dog Soldiers Second.
8.9/10
Posted by Ginose on March 30, 2010
The Descent: Part 2
The Descent: Part 2 You fucker, I'm still trying to get ahold of this one. Didn't look like anything too special (as you mentioned, what more can you do with the story after the first one), but I loved the original so much that there's no way I'd pass up a chance to see it continued.
Posted by Ginose on March 30, 2010
Creep
Creep I don't know what the other guy said, but this was a pretty bad-ass picture. I'd watch it a few more times, just to see a genuinely good horror film and remind myself that the world of modern horror is still worht defending.
8.5/10
Posted by Ginose on March 07, 2010
Roman
Roman Hooooooly fuck, I had no idea this was reviewed here, I wa just about to do it, myself. Totally agreed.
9/10
Posted by Ginose on March 05, 2010
True Romance
True Romance I hate to agree so heatidly with someone who hasn't used this site in almost five years, but the scene with Walken and Hopper was fucking spectacular.
The movie is pretty good, too. 8.3/10
Posted by Ginose on February 21, 2010
Hostel: Part II
Hostel: Part II ..."The Shining" mini-series, as well as the book, suck. King is a hack. I've never met a man with such a dedicated fear of inanimate objects in my life, and even Kubrick realized this, thus making the "hotel" less of a chracter in his adaptation and focusing on the crushing lack of sanity that t he hotel (and its history) cause.

Anyway, yeah, this did suck. I only liked the first because it was a good jab at exploitation in the modern era, but I'm starting to see the lack of realized potential in such a revival on modern audiences. This was shallow, thick and tried to provide a narrative that it just didn't need in order to function well-enough. The gore was even more tame than the first and, although I feel Eli Roth is probably a great guy, who I'd get alongwiht immensly, I don't think he knows the difference between a "fun movie that's good" and a "fun movie". He can't seem to direct either terribly well and, aside from "Cabin Fever", his filmography is showing itself to be as one dimmensional as his take on the genre.
Saw a round-table discussion between Takashi Miike, Guilmero del Toro and Roth at the Cannes screening of Miike's "Gozu", and, although roth shows the same type of utter-fanboyism, his obsession with the violence aspect of film is almost insulting to any decent horror filmmaker and I could almost here Miike and del Toro's eyes rolling as he went on. Like I said, I'm sure I'd get along with the guy, but he's not a talented man.
Here's looking forward to a project by him that is at least functioning as a FILM.
2.7/10
Posted by Ginose on February 15, 2010
Juno
Juno Yeah, no. Too cute to be funny, to quirky to be smart. This was not a good movie. ellen Page was finein her role... if her role was meant to be that of the teenage girl that every teenage girl thinks she is and since she was the o nly thing carrying this totally mundane plot then there's nothing else I can really give this one credit for. Also, with Cris, soundtrack was unbearbly obnoxious.
2/10
If I ever meet Michael Cera in the streets I'm going to break his annoying fucking face. If I see him in one more movie playing the exact same fucking character I'm going to lose it.
Posted by Ginose on February 15, 2010
The Wrestler
The Wrestler 45, according to IMDb.
Would've fucked Pam Grier up until around 2000. Age is NEVER a factor. That's like saying you'd make judgement calls on fucking a vampire.
Posted by Ginose on February 15, 2010
The Wrestler
The Wrestler This was an absolutely engaging and gorgeous piece of film. I will watch it a dozen more times before I stop praising it, and even then I will love it. Too many people I know complain about where it ends, though... dick-heads.
9.5/10

And I would fuck Marisa Tomei's face off of her face.
Posted by Ginose on February 14, 2010
Oasis Of The Zombies
Oasis Of The Zombies Oh shit, totally hadn't noticed this was reviewed here.
Wow. This one was fucking horrible. Came in that "50 Chiller Pack" for $15... hell, the set came with "Bad Taste" and "Profondo Rosso", so whatever, right? Well, I love me some zombie films and figured "FUCK YEAH NAZI ZOMBIES". Love those bastards too... wow...
Just... 0/10... wow...
Posted by Ginose on January 26, 2010
Avatar
Avatar I suppose it is all semantics, and I could never berate "Avatar" on its own merits. Like Greg said, it really is the perfect popcorn movie,
But, come on man, atleast "Terminator" told us why AND how there was a machine-uprising. "Avatar" gives us a vague "why" and some VERY loose information as to "how" and tells us to fill in the blanks ourself, almost like slapping our foreheads and saying "NOW WATCH THE PRETTY CAT-PEOPLE!". it probablly ISN'T necissary, but I feel that it truly demeans the movie's worth when it won't give a simple explaination.
Like I said, I'm looking forward to the "director's cut" (the first director's cut in history from Cameron that I'm looking forward to), which hopefully has some more information in those regards.
Posted by Ginose on January 26, 2010
Avatar
Avatar Well, Cris, I'll be honest, I don't think you can really call the primary event that sets all the pieces in motion and was the only REAL conflict in the film a "subplot" (go ahead and TRY to defend Jake's acceptance as a conflict... I DARE you).
I knew exactally what I was going to get from the movie before I saw it, and I CERTAINLY didn't want an action movie. I had a feeling it was going to be another cliche-ridden drama like all of the movies that used the plot before it (except for "Pocahontas", that shit was legit), and I was right. Doesn't mean the movie was bad, by no stretch of the word, it just wasn't anything special. It wasn't anything original. It wasn't anything different. It was just pretty. Very pretty.
It'll break all kinds of records, sure, but that's what Cameron does. Can you give me three good reasons why "Titanic" did as well as it did? I sure as hell can't. The man can make an expensive movie, and he can make it look good, but his recent films just aren't that damned iconic.
My biggest beef with "Avatar" isn't its lack of logic, it's its lack of anything worthwhile.
Posted by Ginose on January 24, 2010
Avatar
Avatar No, no. I still feel both of my sighted examples were easily enough to throw off the course of logic this movie had. Losing points in exposition isn't enough, but no clear motivation or reasoning behind a characters actions tend to throw off the whole of the plot. What was the point of creating a damn near army of security mercs when they had the Na'vi's trust before? What caused the downfall in a guerilla war with the people?
There's no motive for about 90% of the reasoning behind the attacks and espionage, this was more than just a "loose-end". Or maybe I'm not just that imaginative.
Posted by Ginose on January 24, 2010
Monsters, Inc.
Monsters, Inc. Probably my least favorite from Pixar. It's a well-told story, but it drones on a bit and the obnoxious fucking point it tries to make about the bachelor-lifestyle's lack of stability was so barely touched on...
Still, great film. 8.9/10
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