Hatchet (2006)

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63%
Overall Rating

Ranked #2,976
...out of 20,725 movies

Genres: Horror Slasher Film

Connections: Hatchet

A motley crew of tourists embark on a boat ride of the haunted Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend "Victor Crowley," a horribly disfigured man who was accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when the boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be real, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives... and all of their pieces. --IMDb

Review by Chad
Added: December 20, 2007

2007 has had a large amount of "must see" releases, but for my money, Hatchet ranks up there towards the top of the pile. Here we have a film that made some extremely bold claims before it even hit theaters: it was the film that would revitalize the horror genre, it was going to knock everyone on their collective asses, and of course, let's not forget that all of the early reviews promised that Victor Crowley had plenty of potential to carry a franchise. Factor in - as the promotional materials claimed - that it's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on an Asian movie, and then consider that you've got Kane Hodder doing what he does best, and... well, maybe there's something to those claims?

As with any good slasher film, the storyline is pretty basic and really only serves to get our cast into the swamps and on the receiving end of a wide variety of garden tools. It begins with Ben (Joel Moore) and Marcus (Deon Richmond), two friends from up North who decide to take a trip down to Mardi Gras in an attempt to get Ben's mind off of his relationship problems. For some ungodly reason, Ben decides that getting drunk and watching women flash strangers for cheap plastic beads isn't his idea of a good time, so he decides to join up with a tourist group who will be going into the swamps of New Orleans to see the various ghosts and goblins. What do they happen to find there? Why yes, there just so happens to be a deformed freak (Kane Hodder) who enjoys tearing to pieces anyone who happens to stumble into his neck of the woods, and it just so happens that this large group - Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), porn stars Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti), porn director Shapiro (Joel Murray), tour guide Shawn (Parry Shen), and the elderly Mr. (Richard Riehle) and Mrs. Permatteo (Patrika Darbo) - have managed to sink their boat right outside this freak's house. Making cameo appearances along the way are Robert Englund, Tony Todd, and John Carl Buechler.

For the record, Hatchet is one big homage to the old-school horror flicks of the late seventies and eighties, and as such, it presents us with all of the traditional twists, turns, and yes, even the clichés. This is usually a bad thing, but here, it never feels like a cheap ripoff or cash-in, because it's obvious from the very first scene that the filmmakers had a true love for the genre. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have the heavyweights of horror showing up in the film, but even if none of them had shown up for this project, I still would have loved it. Yes, I absolutely loved Hatchet, and the same reason that I loved it could be the very reason that you'll want to pass on it.

Let me explain that last comment. You see, Hatchet feels a lot like those horror films of the eighties - perhaps one of the Friday the 13th sequels, and not just because we've got Kane Hodder in a mask running around chopping teenagers to bits. We've got stupid teens making stupid decisions, extremely inventive kills with a variety of weapons, enough bloodshed to make any gorehound weep with joy, humor, gratuitous nudity, and yes, we even get the token comic relief black guy. These films were a dime a dozen back in the days of mom-and-pop stores housing massive horror sections on VHS, and it's a far cry from the type of horror that today's fans have grown accustomed to. Therein lies the dilemma, as today's audiences will find themselves in one of three camps: the group that finds this stuff fresh and original (nothing wrong with that if they enjoy it), the group who finds this lame compared to the Saw's and Hostel's of today, and the group who, like me, finds this to be an incredible homage to the films we grew up with. It's true that there's no new ground being tread here, but when the final product is this goddamned fun, who cares?

Yes, I said it: Hatchet is one hell of a fun film, and any self-respecting horror fan should immediately add this to their collection. The acting may be subpar, the jokes may be offensive, and some of said jokes may even fall a little flat, but once Mr. Crowley shows up and starts digging around in his shed for new ways to dispatch of these pesky teens, all of the film's flaws immediately fade into the background as we kick back and enjoy the ride. This, my friends, is what horror is all about: fun movies that give the audience everything that they came to see in a take-no-prisoners fashion.

Again, Hatchet is nothing new to the world of horror, and while it probably won't change the way we look at the genre (unless it brings back the eighties style of doing things), I have to tip my hat to Adam Green for having the balls to show that horror can still be fun and that filmmakers don't have to play it safe with mindless sequels and remakes. 10/10.

#1: BuryMeAlive - added December 20, 2007 at 10:24am
it brings nothing new to the table, but good nonetheless. Still 10/10 is a bit high isn't it?

#2: Nirrad - added December 20, 2007 at 11:06am
I've never even heard of this movie until Tristan said he was all excited about its DVD release. So when I went to Future Shop to pick up Halloween, I noticed this movie had a fairly reasonable price tag, so I decided to pick it up. It wasn't like I expected, but thats not a bad thing. This movie was hilarious, gory and so goddamn entertaining. I plan on watching this again very soon as it is a very fun ride, and the ending is hilarious. I agree with this review.Bring on Hatchet II.

#3: lostth0ught - added December 20, 2007 at 11:16am
I just wanted to say, great review! Fun and gory ride through and through. Could this be the return of slashers?? Dun dun dun...

P.S. I didn't read the chat box at all...

#4: bluemeanie - added December 20, 2007 at 11:57am
See -- the compliment's not as sweet when you have to ask for it...

#5: bluemeanie - added December 20, 2007 at 11:59am
So, here's my take on "Hatchet". I put this film on the same level as "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon". I enjoyed both films just about the same. I liked how "Hatchet" wasn't trying for anything new, per se -- but was simply trying to breathe some life into a dying sub-genre. Unfortunately, it failed miserably at the box office and didn't breathe anything into anything. That said, the filmmakers created an identifiable character and provided some damned fun laughs and scares, so what's not to like? Still -- a 10/10 is an awful big score. Mine would be more on the lines of 7.5/10.

#6: grain of sand - added December 21, 2007 at 6:40am
bought this as soon as I could and love it. dude, the belt sander scene alone warrants a 10/10 from me haha
no, but this is awesome, and I was never bored with it from start to finish, and I need those inventive kills.. so ill stick with that 10

#7: Tristan - added December 29, 2007 at 4:04pm
Supposedly Rev. Zombie (Tony Todd) has a big part in the sequel. This is good for two reasons:
1) Tony Todd
2) A sequel.
I don't think anyone was more excited for this one than me - okay, maybe Chad - and I was not disappointed in the least. This was the most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time, and I'm so bloody glad I could finally see it. This gets a well deserved 10/10 from yours truly.

#8: Crispy - added January 10, 2008 at 4:49am
Must have missed something here. I found this to be a pretty subpar slasher flick.

#9: Optimus Prime - added November 13, 2009 at 4:35pm
Takes a while to get going but when it did it was amazing. 9/10.

#10: MrMurder - added December 14, 2009 at 4:28am
I bought this on a what-the-fuck-why-not due to it's low price tag of $7 about a year go. Loved every damn minute of it. Could not recommend this enough to fans of old school slather flicks. As said, nothing new brought to the genre, but it certainly brings a breath of fresh (rotting corpse) air into the new age. 10/10