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Eat The Schoolgirl (1997)

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Overall Rating 43%
Overall Rating
Ranked #10,306
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"Eat the Schoolgirl" concerns two young adults who made a dirty work for a yakuza gang by making sadistic rape/snuff films. Both of them are sexually obsessed; one is addicted to telephone sex whilst the other can only function sexually, whilst seeing mutilated female corpses. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: September 24, 2009
This is going to be a difficult review to write, as I really feel like I missed something while watching this movie: I missed the point, I missed the storyline, and I missed out on any shred of logic. By that, I mean that while I sat there in front of the tube and saw images on my television and read the subtitles that accompanied said images, I really can't tell you what in the hell was going on. Perhaps there was some ultra-deep message wrapped up in this hour-long running time and it just flew right over my head. Maybe the filmmakers were trying to express a hot topic with their depictions of sex and sadism, something along the lines of "Porn will turn you into a depraved killer." Or maybe, just maybe, Naoyuki Tomomatsu (who would go on to film Stacy four years later) just threw a bunch of random shit together and called it a day. I'm leaning towards the latter.

The storyline begins with a young man having phone sex with a rather attractive Asian woman who pleasures herself with a magic marker while talking our hero off, and he promptly spills his seed all over his jeans. He then heads off to work, and we discover that he works for the Yakuza by passing out business cards for the phone sex company that he was just using. They also deal in self-produced rape / snuff movies, a fact that certainly doesn't go unnoticed by our very interested leading man. He heads home for the evening after putting in an honest day's work, and there, he discovers that his phone sex girl is waiting for him. He also learns that she may be an angel, as she has scars on her back where her wings could have once been. This prompts him to don a wig, some makeup, and a schoolgirl outfit and venture off into the night, looking for someone to murder. This continues throughout the rest of the movie, and he soon finds that he can only cum after having murdered someone - so, like any sexual deviant, he decides to start busting his load all over the stab wounds of his victims. Throw in a bunch of softcore sex scenes, a rape scene (including a forced enema), and tie it all together with a storyline that makes zero sense, and you have the movie known as Eat the Schoolgirl.

Maybe you read that and assumed that the film is nothing more than sixty minutes of titties and violence, and if so, you'd be partially correct. Yes, there are plenty of both (much more of the former than of the latter), but it's still a hard film to recommend even to those who want nothing more than some titillation and gore effects. You see, the film follows a bit of a formula: we get a softcore sex scene that goes on for far too long, we see a bit of the storyline play out and realize that we have no idea what's going on, another sex scene, more storyline, a gore or rape sequence pops up, and it's back to the softcore to start the cycle over again. I could almost give it a solid recommendation to the softcore crowd, but then, that group of viewers is rarely interested in watching a woman frantically try to stuff her own guts back into her stomach.

Honestly, that's about all that I can say about the film. There's three or four decent gore sequences, a rape scene that is moderately cringe-worthy, a large amount of softcore smut, and a storyline that doesn't offer a lick of narrative cohesion. Does that sound like a solid night of entertainment? Maybe in your household, but personally, I found myself watching the clock more than the actual movie. I'm going to go with an average rating for this as I did enjoy the gore effects that were on display and I'm also a sucker for naked Asian women, but I'll also say that it's really not worth tracking it down for those scenes. 4/10.
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