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48%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #7,270
...out of 20,736 movies
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Four college students and an Iraq War vet, lost on a desert highway, encounter a terrified young woman with a black van on her trail. They survive the ensuing chase but their car doesn't, forcing them to seek help at a nearby ranch. Only when it's too late does the group learn that it's crossed the threshold into Hell! Welcome to the Web, home to a bizarre cult of murderers, perverts and mental defectives, whose sacraments include mutilation, dismemberment, unspeakable sex acts, and slow, agonizing death for all who enter. None of their "guests" have ever made it out alive. Tonight may be different...but don't count on it.
--IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: June 19, 2006
Blood Ranch tells the tale of a ranch out in the middle of nowhere inhabited by some of the sickest fellows that you're ever liable to come across. Run by the Bill Moseley meets Charles Manson'esque Spider (Jim Fitzpatrick), this ranch is home to a four-hundred-plus mute man who is simply known as Mute, a duo known as Dart and Board (so named due to a friendly game of darts that they like to play where one of them serves as the dartboard), a cross-dressing midget, a man in a kitty mask who likes to masturbate himself with the deceased, and several other equally interesting inhabitants. Oh yeah, and they all enjoy murdering people in the most sadistic ways possible.
The movie begins with four college students - Jen (Season Hamilton), Mark (Dayton Knoll), and two others (Mike Faiola and Madeleine Lindley) whose character names I missed - who are en route to the Burning Man festival. They eventually pick up the hitchhiking Iraq war veteran Alex (Daniel O’ Meara), who also happens to be on his way to said festival. The fivesome stops for gas at a small gas station, where the attendant tells them that they will be the only ones driving down this road thanks to it now being closed off for construction work. The most interesting piece of information from this stop, however, comes from a little girl who tells them that they're all going to die today. Thinking nothing of this spooky little girl (apparently, they've never seen an Asian horror film), the group continues onwards down this desolate road, where they nearly run over the shell-shocked Megan (Shalena Hughes) who was standing in the middle of the road. She is brought into the very cramped car so that they can get her to a hospital, and things are going good up until a black van attempts to run them off the road. Thanks to the war veteran having a gun with him, the group is able to force the driver of said van to leave them alone... however, the damage has been done, and the car is stranded in the middle of nowhere. The group decides to hoof it down the road in hopes of finding help, but the only thing they find is a dirty little ranch...
First things first: this movie seems to be a mixture of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Devil's Rejects. While this movie certainly isn't as good as either of the aforementioned films, it does have its own unique little charm about it. Whereas those two films were pure horror efforts, this one slides some (mostly intentional) humor into the mix to spice things up. It works out, for the most part, but keep in mind that you'll recognize a few scenes from both films while watching this one.
The acting by the "good guys" is anything but good; these kids are pretty bad in their roles, but that's to be expected from a movie like this, so I won't go into much detail. However, there was one guy who stole every damned scene he was in, and who easily added a few points onto my final score with his presence alone. That man is lead antagonist Spider, played by Jim Fitzpatrick. The character that he plays is cruel and disgusting, and Jim plays the role to perfection. The character also has some humorous lines to be delivered, and once again, Jim does a flawless job with them. Watching him chew... no, make that ravage... the scenery in each and every scene that he appears in was definitely a treat, and if this movie had received a little more exposure, I could definitely see this character becoming a horror icon much like Captain Spaulding.
The rest of the movie isn't quite as pleasant as his character, sadly enough. This is a low budget offering, so one shouldn't expect the cream of the crop when it comes to gore effects and such; however, I've seen movies made with much less that managed to have some damned good kills. This one features a few bright spots (watch for the lady who has her arm cut off with a chainsaw), but most of the kills occur off screen due to, I'm assuming, budget concerns. Come on guys... a retractable blade, some fake blood, creative camera cuts, and you've got the perfect indie kill. Don't cut away from the red stuff entirely and leave us guessing.
Overall, it's an entertaining little movie, but it's nothing fresh or original. You'll definitely get the feeling that there was more than a little bit of inspiration taken from the aforementioned films, and the rest is just your standard direct-to-video slasher fare. However, with that said, I'll stand by my statement that it was an entertaining ninety minutes in front of the tube, and slasher fans will likely feel the same if they don't expect too much. 6/10.
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