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Zombiegeddon (2003)

DVD Cover (Troma Entertainment)
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Overall Rating 32%
Overall Rating
Ranked #9,274
...out of 20,200 movies
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These zombies are a human-like race created by Satan. When the "zombie-looking freaks" begin taking over the world, dirty cops Jeff and Cage find themselves in the unenviable position of having to stop them before it's too late. Jeff soon learns that he alone has the power to defeat them if he's up to the task. As the body count piles up and internal affairs officers investigate Jeff and Cage for their prior wrongdoings, time is running out... --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: July 25, 2006
In the opening moments of the film, we're treated to a small interview clip with none other than Uwe Boll (director of the notoriously-bad films House Of The Dead and Alone In The Dark) who gives his thoughts on the movie at hand. He proclaims that Zombiegeddon is a worthless piece of trash, featuring laughable special effects and made by a no-talent director. His advice for the audience at home is to avoid this film at all costs, even going so far as to say that "it isn't worth the dollar to rent it". You know, a movie has to be pretty damned bad to get Uwe Boll himself throwing out these kinds of accusations, and indeed, the movie is pretty bad - in conventional terms. However, in the entertainment department, this movie shines like no other.

The storyline is not where this movie shines, but to keep in line with my typical review format, I'll do my best to include it here. It all begins when Jesus Christ himself (Tom Savini) has sex with the lovely Laura Reynolds (Brinke Stevens). After they finish the deed, Laura returns to her job as a radio deejay, where she quickly decides to ignore the show format and tell the world about how all human life will be wiped off the face of the planet in seventy-two hours. Yes, that's a short timespan, but thanks to a zombie epidemic, it looks as though she will be correct in her claims before the movie is finished.

The story, as she tells it, centers around these zombies; however, these are not the typical Romero-inspired zombies as most people know them, oh no. These zombies were created by Satan himself in order to wipe out the God-created human race. Not only that, but these zombies are able to disguise themselves as normal humans in order to make the kills that much easier. Now, it's up to crooked cops Cage (Ari Bavel) and Jeff Jackson (Paul Darrigo) to save the day... if they can take time away from killing the innocent and filling up on grits, that is.

As I mentioned, the storyline is not the strength of this movie. It's silly and it makes no sense at times, but it does serve the purpose of setting up the jokes and giving the cast something to run with. However, that very cast is one of the ways that this movie shines. Reading my synopsis, you may have noticed that Tom Savini has a cameo appearance as Jesus Christ and that Brinke Stevens has a small role as the deejay, but the cameo appearances do not end there - this movie is a b-horror fan's wet dream, as you could almost make a drinking game out of "spot the celebrity". Also appearing throughout the film is Edwin Neal (the crazed hitchhiker from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre - found here playing God), Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop himself), Lloyd Kaufman (Troma head-honcho), Joe Estevez (Soultaker and a slew of other b-movies), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), J.R. Bookwalter (director of The Dead Next Door), Linnea Quigley (The Return Of The Living Dead), Lilith Stabs (Severe Injuries), and William Smith (Manosaurus). Also featuring voice-work from such names as Fred Olen Ray, Ron Jeremy, and Julie Strain, this is the definitive spot-the-celebrity movie... and I didn't even name them all here, if you can believe that.

If it wasn't blindingly obvious by this point in the review, this film is not your standard horror, and nor is it really a horror in any but the loosest sense of the word. Yes, there are zombies, and yes, there is some gore, but it's all done in a very tongue-in-cheek fashion, almost as if director Chris Watson were parodying the genre with this film. Comedy is the main emphasis of the film, and although a few of the gags fall flat, I can guarantee that just about every viewer out there will find something in here that will have them shedding a tear or two of laughter. Take, for example, the scene in which Lloyd Kaufman walks in on a zombie eating a small child and, thanks to the way that the two are positioned, gets the impression that the zombie is a homosexual. This leads into Lloyd delivering numerous anti-zombie-homosexuality lines for the remainder of his on-screen time, some of which are true gut-busters.

This movie comes to us courtesy of Troma Entertainment (of course!), and as such, you should know what you're getting into before picking this up. Be prepared to be shocked, offended, and disgusted. Be prepared for ultra-low budgets, buckets of blood, and ample doses of T&A. Be prepared for the lowest of low-brow humor and the flimsiest of storylines, but most of all, be prepared to be thoroughly entertained. 7/10.
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