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34%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #9,774
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In the year 2047, sex is forbidden and Big Brother uses robots to keep on eye on everyone. One young girl tries to outwit the government so she can be with the man she loves.
--TMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: September 26, 2006
You know, I could break out my thesaurus and come up with all sorts of fancy words to describe Cinderella 2000 for you faithful readers, but there's actually a very simple way to put it: this movie is seriously fucked up and should have came bundled with some hard drugs in addition to the booklet insert. Honestly, just looking at what sort of genres are blended together should tell you that much, but when you get into the details, well... there's no denying that this sexploitation / musical / comedy / sci-fi interpretation of a classic fairy tale is a one-of-a-kind film.
Much like the original story, Cindy (Catherine Erhardt) is looked upon as a third-rate citizen by her wicked stepmother (Renee Harmon) and her two stepsisters Bella (Buri Cowans) and Stella (Adina Ross). She's treated like a slave, made to do all sorts of grueling tasks around the house, and is forced to parade around in a raggedy dress while they go out and have all the fun. The difference in this adaptation of the story is that it takes place in the year 2047 on a planet where sex and romance have been made illegal; anyone who is caught in the act of fornication by the stuttering Roscoe The Robot (Eddie Garetti) is taken to a control room and shrank down to the size of a GI Joe action figure. Needless to say, there's a lot of sexual tension on this planet, but all of that changes when Cindy's fairy Godfather (Jay B. Larson, a fellow who looks eerily similar to the late Steve Irwin) pays her a visit and convinces her that she needs to try and convince the Controller (Erwin Fuller) that these laws are wrong. He also persuades her to attempt to settle down with Tom Prince (Vaughn Armstrong), the lone man in charge of impregnating women on this planet.
Did you catch all that? I swear that I didn't make any of that up, and I actually left out some of the more bizarre moments of the film. For example, Cindy rides a football-sized dildo to the "party" at the end of the movie, a musical number is performed by sex-crazed rabbits and dancing deer, and we even get a cameo appearance by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in a scene that will definitely remind you that this was originally released as an x-rated feature. Also, if you thought that the prince having to use a slipper to find Cinderella in the original was kind of out there, wait until you see how he sets out to find his true love in this version of the story.
The thing that really shocked me about this film was the lack of sex in it. Sure, there's a fair deal of it to be found throughout the running time, but not nearly as much as I expected from a (self-imposed) x-rated feature that is consistently labeled as sexploitation. I'm certainly not disappointed by this fact, as I felt that the comedic scenes worked out far better than the lovemaking scenes. However, even some of the sex scenes are chock-full of comedy and weren't inserted merely to titillate; for example, one scene features a couple having legal sex while the controller watches and barks out orders to them along the lines of "Not like that (doggy-style), that's immoral!" The situation becomes even more humorous when he decides that some mood music is in order, music that turns out to be a combination of disco and carnival music much to the chagrin of our studly hero. This style of comedy may not be for everyone, but I will say that I got more than a few laughs throughout the running time of the film.
I definitely enjoyed this one much more than I thought I would. The comedy is actually quite funny, the acting is surprisingly good (Erwin Fuller is an absolute riot in his role as the controller), and the overall "package" is a highly enjoyable film. As always, Retro-Seduction Cinema has done a damned nice job with the DVD package, stuffing both the r-rated and x-rated cuts of the film onto one disc in addition to the customary booklet insert, an Al Adamson trailer vault, the alternate title sequence, and a running commentary by Sam Sherman. Fans of this type of sex comedy should definitely show it some love (no pun intended) when it's released next week - you won't regret it. 8/10.
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