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Black Christmas (2006)

DVD Cover (Dimension)
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4.4
 / 10
13 votes
Movie Connections:
Black Christmas
> Black Christmas (1974)
> Black Christmas (2006)
Genres / Traits:
Horror, Psychological Thriller, Slasher Film, Holiday: Christmas
Director:
Glen Morgan Glen Morgan
Starring:
Katie Cassidy Katie Cassidy
Michelle Trachtenberg Michelle Trachtenberg
Mary Elizabeth Winstead Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Lacey Chabert Lacey Chabert
Kristen Cloke Kristen Cloke
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Review by bluemeanie
Added: December 27, 2006
I'll make this review straight and to the point.

First, we need to talk about how influential the original 1974 "Black Christmas" was for the horror genre. Without it, we wouldn't have films like "When A Stranger Calls", "Scream", or likely even John Carpenter's "Halloween" - it influenced all of those films to a spectacular degree. Director Bob Clark's visionary film making style made "Black Christmas" not just another horror film, but one of the most frightening horror films of all-time, at that point in cinematic history. It's influence is still being felt today. So, when they announced they were whoring out the original, just like they did with "When A Stranger Calls" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I was more than a little disturbed by this prospect. "Black Christmas" did not need to be remade. It's that simple.

Never before I have been so pessimistic about a film, only to have the final product be so much worse than I could have ever imagined. The remake of "Black Christmas" is officially the worst horror film ever made - and one of the worst films ever made. It not only pisses all over the original film, but it takes a great big steamer all over the horror genre, as a whole. The film just supposes that the audience is comprised of absolute morons, and it treats us accordingly. It takes the fantastic script from the original and turns it into something that could have been written by a mentally retarded third grader. It's a slap in the face to everyone who watches it. And I mean everyone.

Here's the premise: Some brain dead sorority girls find themselves trapped in their sorority house over Christmas break, being stalked and picked off by an escaped killer with a liver problem, whose skin is yellow and whose only pleasure comes from eating eyeballs with his inbred sister. Does this sound like the original at all? It shouldn't - they're nothing alike whatsoever. Some of the dialogue in this film is so ridiculous and so brain dead, it seems philosophical. If you saw "The Descent" last year, you were treated to a horror film about six intelligent, strong and interesting women finding themselves thrust into a horrible situation. With "Black Christmas", we get Barbie and the Rockers getting their titties hacked off by a "Sesame Street" muppet and his cockeyed sister.

The shocker is that this film was written and directed by Glen Morgan, who brought us the super creepy "Willard" with Crispin Glover - a fine remake - one of the best horror remakes ever, in my opinion. This proves that "Willard" was just a fluke. Glen Morgan doesn't deserve to direct another mainstream motion picture for as long as he lives. He doesn't deserve to direct an insurance commercial for as long as he lives. This was abysmal. The only three slightly recognizable actresses in the film - Michelle Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert and Mary Elizabeth Winstead - are three of the first bitches to bite the dust. Why? Why do they leave the worst for last? "Black Christmas" is the worst film of the year, hands down, and one of the worst films ever made. Decades from now there will be classes taught on this film and how it almost single handedly ended the craft of film.

0/10.
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grain of sand #1: grain of sand - added 12/29/2006, 08:41 PM
its pretty safe to say this is the worst 'horror' movie in the last 20 years, and in the next 20 years.. I feel a bit more stupid for sitting through the entire thing.
streblo666 #2: streblo666 - added 01/10/2007, 02:59 AM
i really dont think it was as bad as you make it seem to be, sure the original was great and the remake didnt come close to be as horrifying, but besides the fact of the dopy bitches who starred in this movie the story wasnt half bad. the remake told more story to behind billy as to get more of a feel to who is is and why hes killing and bluggening people, and agnes is mentioned in the first movie during one of the calls, you just dont know who she is. all in all it wasnt horrible but i think it was better than i expected.
Tristan #3: Tristan - added 05/01/2007, 02:01 PM
I am so glad I love the original enough to not see this travesty. I saw it for $1 at a used movie place, and I didn't even consider buying it. It's too bad Bob Clark had to die so soon after having his horror masterpiece trashed.
Lucid Dreams #4: Lucid Dreams - added 11/06/2010, 12:07 AM
Never seen the first one, but this just plain sucked. 1/10
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