Brotherhood Of The Wolf
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Despite being a little disappointed with the fact
that this was falsely touted as a werewolf movie,
I fell in love with "Brotherhood" from
the moment I saw it subtitled in theatres. I
actually was ballsy enough to sneer at the people
standing outside who had left because of the lack
of dubbing, "You missed out." The acting
was lovely, the sets were gorgeous, and the
storyline just sucked me right in. Conspiracy
themes are difficult to do without becoming
needlessly complicated, especially when government
and aristocracy start to get involved, but this
movie pulls it off quite nicely and gives us some
truly impressive visuals along the way. This is
one of maybe five foreign films in my collection
and I cherish it. Hey France! Send more monsters!
10/10
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Van Helsing
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I loved this movie for what it was:
action-adventure with monsters thrown in. Also,
I'm a big fan of the old Universal classics, so it
was fun to see a slightly more modern take on the
oldies-but-goodies. The second I try to read
something more into the concept or start thinking
about the many plot holes or the horrible ending,
I want to throw the DVD out the window, but then I
think, "Hey, Hugh Jackman can't turn
everything to gold" and it stays on my shelf.
I do enjoy Jackman as an actor, Kate Beckinsale
has been a treat to watch since her debut in
"Much Ado About Nothing" (she has come a
LONG way), and it cracks me the hell up to think
that David Wenham (Friar Carl) went on to play a
big butch Spartan in "300". If you want
some mindless entertainment you don't have to
think too much to enjoy, this movie does just
fine. 7/10
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Shaun Of The Dead
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As a person who does not generally watch zombie
movies due to a minor phobia, I was roped into
watching this (but only during the day) by a
couple of caring friends and a bottle of
Jaegermeister. Having seen "Hot Fuzz"
first, I was already familiar with the actors
involved and I had some small idea of what kind of
directing and visual style to expect. What I NEVER
expected was that I would laugh my ass off at a
zombie movie. And make no mistake, whatever the
reviews say, this is definitely a zombie movie.
The acting was impeccable, the sets and makeup
were simple but awesome, and the visuals just
knocked me for a loop. Best part: when Shaun takes
his usual morning walk to the shop...and then the
next day he repeats the same routine after the
zombies have come to town...and he doesn't notice
a thing, even despite nearly walking into one on
his way home. (The whole scene is one continuous
4-minute shot, I can't imagine how many takes it
required.)
"Shaun of the Dead"
manages to poke fun at the zombie genre while
still remaining scary as hell (one word:
dismemberment) and introduces us to two guys who
will hopefully make lots more movies together.
8/10
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Army Of Darkness
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Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are the masters of
making campy look fabulous. I've noticed that in
every film Raimi directs, Campbell and Sam's
brother Ted Raimi make guest appearances. (Go
watch the Spiderman movies again, they're in all
three.) Ted actually plays four different cameo
roles in "Army of Darkness" and he and
Campbell went on to have recurring guest roles
when Raimi directed Xena: Warrior Princess. For
campy goodness at it's best, you can't beat this
team.
Hail to the kings, baby. 10/10
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Let's Scare Jessica To Death
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I watched this movie on OnDemand one day with a
friend of mine who collects bad horror movies.
Let's just say this was a worthy addition to the
list. The acting was lousy, the storyline was
confusing as hell, the pace was all wrong, and
aside from the dead girl walking out of the lake
and trying to bite Jessica's neck (in broad
daylight), this movie seemed to be confused as to
whether it wanted to be a sexy vampire romp, a
zombie horrorfest, or good old-fashioned ghost
story. Perhaps the director was the one in need of
some "time away". 3/10
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Sleepy Hollow
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This film illustrates absolutely everything that I
love about my Holy Trinity of filmmaking. If it's
directed by Tim Burton, stars Johnny Depp, and is
scored by Danny Elfman, I'm guaranteed to love it.
I have yet to see a movie these men have put out
that I do not like. Sleepy Hollow is definitely my
favorite of the bunch, with the wonderful
mood-color scenes, blood like red sealing wax,
beautifully produced beheadings (and bisecting, in
one case), and just a lovely creepy feeling. Also,
this film features Miranda Richardson as the
wickedest stepmother you will EVER see. When put
into a fairy-tale-type role with elaorate hairdos
and flowing gowns, this woman can do no wrong. I
have loved her as Mrs. Van Tassel, Queen Maab
("Merlin"), and even in an obscure
little production of "Snow White" where
she played the evil Queen. And who could fail to
love Christopher freaking Walken as the Headless
Horseman! (I have a banner somewhere or other of
the Horseman shouting in battle with the caption,
"I said MORE COWBELL!") I love love LOVE
this movie and watch it faithfully with several
girlfriends, lots of popcorn, and plenty of spiked
cider every Hallowe'en. 10/10
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BloodRayne
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The concept was good, Kristanna Loken was a good
fit for the role, the setting wasn't bad....I have
to agree. This could have been SO much better with
a different director...and some better writing.
Poor Madsen, he must've really needed the
paycheck.
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Hellboy
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Del Toro has a history of using movies as proving
grounds for future projects. Hellboy is no
exception. In fact, the proving ground for
Hellboy, if you look closely at the Sammael fight
scenes, was Blade II (which was bloody godawful).
The makeup/prosthetics workshop technology from
Hellboy went on to make Pan's Labyrinth, which in
turn was a proving ground for much of the
"fairy folk" in Hellboy II: The Golden
Army (which was FANTASTIC). Yes it was campy, yes
the Sammys got repetitive, yes there could've been
more character development. But yanno, that's what
the sequel is for. Fabulous acting from Perlman
("From old Jew to young superhero! I love
this job!"), some nice oneliners, and great
on-screen chemistry from the cast. This is and
will remain one of my favorite movies of all time.
9/10
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Hellboy Animated: Sword Of Storms
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Being a bit of a buff of folklore from various
different cultures, including Japan, I was
extremely impressed with Hellboy: Sword of Storms.
Clearly the writers did their homework. From the
snake-necked women and the spider-lady to the
detached-head vampires and Kitsune Obaa-san (lit.
"Grandmother Fox"), nearly all of the
cultural references were pitch-perfect. The
clothing in the scrolll flashback looked a little
bit Chinese, but not so you'd notice unless you're
irritatingly picky like me, and the two countries
had similar fashions at several points in history.
Thankfully, the art style of the flashback makes
up for it, being very similar to old story-telling
scrolls on display in Japanese historical museums
and shrines. This also gives a better idea of what
the Hellboy comics are like, where the movie was
less successful in doing so, despite Del Toro
taking a very literaly stance in his artistic
interpretation of the characters. Also, having the
movie actors provide the voices was a good choice
for consistency, where some other directors (and
actors) won't do it for budgeting reasons. If you
enjoyed this Hellboy Animated feature, check out
Hellboy: Blood and Iron as well. Hopefully the
recent success of the new movie will prompt
further additions to this series. 10/10
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Wicked Little Things
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I caught this movie one night on SciFi, so I
probably didn't see the proper version, but
still... Normally, I can't watch zombie movies.
(God help me, I have a very real fear of the
walking cannibalistic dead.) The fact that this
one involved murderous children should have made
it even worse, but somehow I just couldn't stop
watching. The premise has been done to death
(forgive the pun), the acting was slightly better
than passable, and the effects were woefully
cheap, but the creepy factor was definitely there.
Nothing like watching a dozen or so undead
children, still bloodstained from a recent kill,
come creeping silently out of the woods to give me
the chills. 5/10
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