Left 4 Head 4 (2009)

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Overall Rating 70%
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Ranked #13,011
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Connections: Left 4 Dead

The original Blowie is back as Felony reprises her role in the Left 4 head series and this time she's going solo. --Clips4Sale
Review by Chad
Added: July 20, 2010
If I had my way, this site would be renamed to "The Slashers & Zombies Made Me Do It." Honestly, I could probably go the rest of my life watching only those two genres, but I do have to make some concessions to keep the site viewers rolling in. This leads us to the fourth entry in the infamous Left 4 Head series. When I first heard about these movies (these ten minute shorts, I should say), I was instantly intrigued. A movie adaptation of Left 4 Dead, one of my favorite games of all time, combined with zombies, my favorite genre of all time, and topped off with hot broads? Count me in. Sadly, these clips haven't lived up to my expectations as they're nothing more than porno scenes that cash in on the name to get some quick bucks. It did catch my attention, I'll give them that, but great movies? Hardly. Regardless, these are some of the most viewed movies on the site for some ungodly reason, so porno freaks: this one's for you.

Keeping in tune with the rest of the series, there is no storyline to be found here. I'm not saying that it's a thin storyline or that the writing was weak... no, there's simply nothing to be found in the way of plot. Blowie (played by Felony this time around), an obvious nod to the red jumpsuit-wearing Zoey from Left 4 Dead, strips down to her thong, masturbates with a gun while smoking a cigarette, and blows a kiss to the camera - that is what you get in these twelve minutes, no more and no less.

It's really crazy how many page views these damned movies get. I mean, they're not even porno "movies": each of these entries consist of nothing more than a single sex scene. The first movie had a blowjob. The second one featured interracial sex. The third one had another blowjob. Do you really need me to tell you if these movies are "good" or not? Honestly, you either want to see a woman diddling herself with a gun or you don't - anything I say will do little to persuade you one way or another. Still, the clicks keep on rolling in, so who am I to disappoint those fine, upstanding citizens who are eager to read my opinion on this material?

So, yes, Felony is damned attractive. She does a strip tease and slowly gets naked. You eventually see everything that her mother gave her. She masturbates and has an orgasm - an undoubtedly fake orgasm, but a convincing one. The entire thing takes place in front of a green screen, almost as though the filmmakers intended to insert some CGI action in post-production... maybe an epic zombie battle, or a rendition of Hamlet. Or, just maybe, that was the color of the wall in the bedroom that they shot this in. Who am I to say?

We watch this play out while listening to a techno dance sample that is pretty catchy for the first minute or so. Unfortunately, the sample is about three seconds long, and aside from a ten-second stretch towards the end where we listen to Felony moan in pleasure, this sample is looped for the entire thirteen minutes that the clip runs for. Needless to say, it goes from "catchy" to "downright annoying" very quickly.

I'm going to give this one a higher rating than the others, simply because it didn't try to be anything more than a porno scene. There was no fake rubber masks and there was no creeping down an underlit hallway: it was just a porno scene, take it or leave it. Again, Felony was damned attractive and had some nice body rhythm (she actually kept the strip tease entertaining for the six or seven minutes that it ran for), but I'll concede that it may be personal bias seeping into the review. Oh well, it's my rating, and I personally enjoyed this one most out of the series thus far. It's just a woman getting naked and masturbating, but my personal enjoyment clocked in at around 7/10.
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