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47%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #3,077
...out of 20,319 movies
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An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one.
--TMDb
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I'll make this review straight and to the point.
First, we need to talk about how influential the original 1974 "Black Christmas" was for the horror genre. Without it, we wouldn't have films like "When A Stranger Calls", "Scream", or likely even John Carpenter's "Halloween" - it influenced all of those films to a spectacular degree. Director Bob Clark's visionary film making style made "Black Christmas" not just another horror film, but one of the most frightening horror films of all-time, at that point in cinematic history. It's influence is still being felt today. So, when they announced they were whoring out the original, just like they did with "When A Stranger Calls" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I was more than a little disturbed by this prospect. "Black Christmas" did not need to be remade. It's that simple.
Never before I have been so pessimistic about a film, only to have the final product be so much worse than I could have ever imagined. The remake of "Black Christmas" is officially the worst horror film ever made - and one of the worst films ever made. It not only pisses all over the original film, but it takes a great big steamer all over the horror genre, as a whole. The film just supposes that the audience is comprised of absolute morons, and it treats us accordingly. It takes the fantastic script from the original and turns it into something that could have been written by a mentally retarded third grader. It's a slap in the face to everyone who watches it. And I mean everyone.
Here's the premise: Some brain dead sorority girls find themselves trapped in their sorority house over Christmas break, being stalked and picked off by an escaped killer with a liver problem, whose skin is yellow and whose only pleasure comes from eating eyeballs with his inbred sister. Does this sound like the original at all? It shouldn't - they're nothing alike whatsoever. Some of the dialogue in this film is so ridiculous and so brain dead, it seems philosophical. If you saw "The Descent" last year, you were treated to a horror film about six intelligent, strong and interesting women finding themselves thrust into a horrible situation. With "Black Christmas", we get Barbie and the Rockers getting their titties hacked off by a "Sesame Street" muppet and his cockeyed sister.
The shocker is that this film was written and directed by Glen Morgan, who brought us the super creepy "Willard" with Crispin Glover - a fine remake - one of the best horror remakes ever, in my opinion. This proves that "Willard" was just a fluke. Glen Morgan doesn't deserve to direct another mainstream motion picture for as long as he lives. He doesn't deserve to direct an insurance commercial for as long as he lives. This was abysmal. The only three slightly recognizable actresses in the film - Michelle Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert and Mary Elizabeth Winstead - are three of the first bitches to bite the dust. Why? Why do they leave the worst for last? "Black Christmas" is the worst film of the year, hands down, and one of the worst films ever made. Decades from now there will be classes taught on this film and how it almost single handedly ended the craft of film.
0/10.
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#1:
grain of sand
- added December 29, 2006 at 8:41pm
its pretty safe to say this is the worst 'horror'
movie in the last 20 years, and in the next 20
years.. I feel a bit more stupid for sitting
through the entire thing.
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#2:
streblo666
- added January 10, 2007 at 2:59am
i really dont think it was as bad as you make it
seem to be, sure the original was great and the
remake didnt come close to be as horrifying, but
besides the fact of the dopy bitches who starred
in this movie the story wasnt half bad. the
remake told more story to behind billy as to get
more of a feel to who is is and why hes killing
and bluggening people, and agnes is mentioned in
the first movie during one of the calls, you just
dont know who she is. all in all it wasnt
horrible but i think it was better than i
expected.
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#3:
Tristan
- added May 1, 2007 at 2:01pm
I am so glad I love the original enough to not see
this travesty. I saw it for $1 at a used movie
place, and I didn't even consider buying it. It's
too bad Bob Clark had to die so soon after having
his horror masterpiece trashed.
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#4:
Lucid Dreams
- added November 6, 2010 at 12:07am
Never seen the first one, but this just plain
sucked. 1/10
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