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Cloak & Shag Her (2008)

DVD Cover (Seduction Cinema)
Genres:
Porn Parody, Sex Comedy, Sexploitation, Softcore Sex Film
Director:
William Hellfire William Hellfire
Starring:
Julian Wells Julian Wells
Dean Paul Dean Paul
Darian Caine Darian Caine
C.J. DiMarsico C.J. DiMarsico
A.J. Khan A.J. Khan
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2.9 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Secret agent April Flower and her earnest if hapless sidekick Basil time-travel from London in 1969 to 2019 in pursuit of their nemesis, the evil Dr. Mean. The beautiful but evil Dr. Mean intends to take over the world by means of a love potion that causes all who take it to immediately plunge into total sexual promiscuity. --TMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: November 29, 2007
Seduction Cinema is back with another one of their erotic parodies, and this time around, they decided to spoof Austin Powers... and it's about damned time. Sure, they released The Girl Who Shagged Me a couple of years back, but that was really a parody in title only, so it was nice to see them finally parody a movie that was as ripe for the pickings as this one. Oh, and it was also nice to see a chimp practicing martial arts as well (they sure are getting their money's worth out of that ape suit), because really, aren't monkeys always good for a laugh?

Our storyline begins in London circa 1969, and we soon meet secret agent April Flowers (Julian Wells) and her perpetually-horny sidekick Basil Shagalittle (Deal Paul). It also doesn't take too long before we discover that trouble is brewing, as the "evil" Dr. Mean (Darian Caine) and her go-go dancing stripper-clone Bitters (C.J. DiMarsico) have traveled forward in time to the year 2019. There, they plan on taking over the world with Dr. Mean's' newly-created love potion, a concoction that instantly transforms the drinker into a raging inferno of lust. How, exactly, this will allow her to conquer the world is anyone's guess, but hey - when the characters themselves repeatedly remind the home audience that the plot is weak, you really shouldn't expect too much. Besides Bitters, Dr. Mean also has a number of other villainous henchmen at her side, with the evildoers consisting of Nurse Notsonice (A.J. Khan), Sid The Mangler (Shane Annigans), and Kung Pow the Karate Chimp (Mike Roszhart). Also, for those of you keeping score at home, Ruby Larocca shows up for a brief scene.

As always, critiquing a softcore comedy based on a weak storyline is extremely unfair; after all, the whole point of these parodies is to deliver a somewhat even mixture of T&A, lesbian action, and comedy. With that in mind, Cloak & Shag Her works as intended. There are some damned funny scenes (watch for the discussion about a dangerous yeast infection), and of course, we've got most of Seduction Cinema's finest in the major roles. A.J. Khan and Darian Caine are great as always, but the big surprise was Julian Wells. Now, I've never had anything against her, but by the same token, I've never really been a huge fan of hers either; however, she did an exceptionally good job here, and I have to tip my hat to her for that.

Of course, the main attraction for a film like this is the softcore side of things. The comedy keeps it interesting and the storyline (regardless of how weak it may be) keeps everything moving along, but you really don't pick up one of these releases unless you're in the mood for softcore sex... and you don't pick up a Seduction Cinema film unless you're looking for softcore lesbian sex. There's some pretty steamy scenes in here with just about every possible girl / girl combination explored, and in addition to the normal petting, kissing, and simulated oral that seems to be par for the course in these films, we also get a lap dance sequence and a scene from Retro-Seduction Cinema's nudie loops vault. Really, could one ask for anything else?

Check it out if you're a fan of Seduction Cinema's other softcore parodies. Cloak & Shag Her isn't their best and it probably won't become one of their best-sellers, but it's far from the worst that they've put out and it's a pretty entertaining affair in each of its intended ways. 7/10.
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Crispy #1: Crispy - added 11/30/2007, 12:08 AM
You really went to town with the screenshots here. Since you didn't mention it, thought I'd mention the title is a play on "Cloak and Dagger"
Chad #2: Chad - added 11/30/2007, 12:14 AM
I didn't mention it because I thought it was blatantly obvious, silly.
Crispy #3: Crispy - added 11/30/2007, 12:21 AM
Can never be too careful with these people
Tristan #4: Tristan - added 11/30/2007, 12:48 AM
Anybody who takes the time to visit a movie site would know that. I watched it when I was like 5, and I'm sure the rest of the world did as well.
Crispy #5: Crispy - added 11/30/2007, 03:03 AM
I was 8. I always was a late bloomer
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