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Frozen Flesh (2008)

DVD Cover (Frozen Flesh Cinema)
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Overall Rating 22%
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Ranked #11,450
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Connections: Frozen Flesh

A mass murderer kills his victims, then cooks and eats them. --IMDb
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Review by bluemeanie
Added: July 29, 2008
This review is going to be short and sweet...

And here's a tagline for someone to use -- "This was absolutely, without a doubt, one of the most painfully awful cinematic experiences of my entire life". I turned the film off three times. Not because I couldn't handle what I was seeing, but because I was so pissed off. The opening of the film is like having a knife inserted into your back and then twisted at periodic times for an hour. It's nothing but never ending shots of blood trickling into a sink and a skillet cooking on the stove. It's like the editor didn't know how to use iMovie and just had to use the entire clips instead of cutting them as he should have done. I honestly don't think the editor knew how to edit.

That's all I am going to say about this utter garbage. Just bad, bad, bad. If this is all these filmmakers have in store for an audience, they need to go back to their day jobs and leave cinema the hell alone. 5/10.
Chad #1: Chad - added July 29, 2008 at 7:29pm
Plot synopsis?

On an odd note, I went to besthorrormoviesever.net and frightfestreviews.net to see what they had to say in their reviews since they were both so prominently displayed on the DVD cover. Neither of those sites exist, and according to GoDaddy, they haven't existed for the last three months at the very least. Bizarre...
Edd #2: Edd - added July 29, 2008 at 9:51pm
You know it's got to be bad when the director/writer is quoted on the cover.
Ginose #3: Ginose - added July 30, 2008 at 1:41am
You don't think they could have possibly made a horrible movie just to see how many idiots would watch it based on critic quotes on the cover?
Ginose #4: Ginose - added July 30, 2008 at 2:35am
My God... Billy Ray, you sonuvabitch! You just gave this peice of shit more publicity than it will ever get elsewhere!
WHY, MAN!? WHY!?
bluemeanie #5: bluemeanie - added July 30, 2008 at 9:46am
I know...I know...as for plot synopsis, it's about a serial killer who kills and then cooks and eats his victims. That is about it. I didn't feel the need to validate this film any further by attempting to explain the ludicrous plot.
George Snow #6: George Snow - added August 12, 2008 at 12:35am
I just watched a few seconds of this brilliant CRAP. Everything on the cover is lies. All made up, But, there's 5 people here commenting on this piece of shit. At another site 53 comments on what trash this is. And it's FOR SALE at Amazon. So, who's the idiot? This guy made complete garbage and people have probably bought it. If he gets a buck for each sale, he's probably made a couple of hundred dollars.
Justin French #7: Justin French - added August 12, 2008 at 6:25pm
Movies are made so that audiences will love and appreciate them.

So, if you don't love and appreciate my movie, then something must be wrong with you.
Crispy #8: Crispy - added August 12, 2008 at 6:31pm
Movies should be made so that audiences will love and appreciate them.

Fixed for accuracy. And you, sir, have failed here. Miserably.
Justin French #9: Justin French - added August 12, 2008 at 6:58pm
That's your opinion. And you're in the minority there as well.
Justin French #10: Justin French - added August 12, 2008 at 6:59pm
People who don't like Frozen Flesh just aren't educated cinematically. It's as simple as that.
Nirrad #11: Nirrad - added August 12, 2008 at 8:12pm
Agreed! This movie is awesome!
Crispy #12: Crispy - added August 12, 2008 at 11:10pm
In the minority? The only praise I've seen for this is on the cover. And there's evidence pointing to those quotes being complete fabrications as well. And considering that one of them is your own quote for your own movie, well that just doesn't hold a lot of weight in anybody's book. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, claiming that people dislike your work because they don't 'get it' is the biggest cop out in any form of art, and it's little more than an excuse to not try and improve your next work.
Justin French #13: Justin French - added August 13, 2008 at 12:10am
I'm the creator of Frozen Flesh so my opinion matters a great deal. If I like it, others should share in my bliss.
Crispy #14: Crispy - added August 13, 2008 at 12:40am
Yes, it's a shame that megalomania is something that's all your own. Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to do everything in our power to avoid this, and any future films you release, at all costs.
Justin French #15: Justin French - added August 13, 2008 at 1:09am
It's a shame you just didn't get it. You really need to watch it again.

You should vote/comment on Frozen Flesh on IMDb - maybe you'll change your mind then.


Crispy #16: Crispy - added August 13, 2008 at 1:34am
There's that 'didn't get it' again. And I think I'll refrain from giving this film any more attention than this brain dead argument with your delusions of grandeur if you don't mind.
George Snow #17: George Snow - added August 13, 2008 at 2:33am
"Movies are made so that audiences will love and appreciate them."

I DO NOT and CAN NOT believe you made this monstrosity with any kind of artistic vision, or for the enjoyment and appreciation of any audience.

"So, if you don't love and appreciate my movie, then something must be wrong with you."

Can't argue with that logic (sarcasm). But, I will say, I have a brain that I use to make up my own mind. And the absolute conclusion I've drawn is you MADE UP a bunch of blurbs (or had friends make them up) to sell a mindless 111 minutes DVD to rob as many people as you possibly can. But, that is only my opinion.

"I'm the creator of Frozen Flesh so my opinion matters a great deal. If I like it, others should share in my bliss."

You are the creator, so the only place your opinions matters is what is contained in the product. Your opinion shouldn't and doesn't matter to any viewer. Or as the viewer is known in the case of Frozen Flesh, the poor unfortunate victim.
Tristan #18: Tristan - added August 13, 2008 at 6:26am
You guys are playing into his hand perfectly. We all know it's crap, so all you've done is spark more interest and generate hits for this guy. That said, after what I've heard about Us Sinners, It would seem this Snow fella does know a thing or two. I'm with him.
Justin French #19: Justin French - added August 13, 2008 at 9:02am
If I wanted to rob people of their time and $$ by selling my DVD, then I wouldn't post my movie up for people to watch.
Justin French #20: Justin French - added August 13, 2008 at 9:04am
Plus I'm allowed to have confidence in the movies I make.
Justin French #21: Justin French - added August 13, 2008 at 9:07am
And no one's playing into any of my hands.

I did my best. Maybe you didn't like it. But I worked very hard on both the movie and the soundtrack for it. It took me a long time to compose the score. It took me a long time to find the right guy to play the killer. The special effects took a while to make. I worked very hard on it. Like I said, I did my best. And I'm going to continue making movies and getting better.
Ginose #22: Ginose - added August 16, 2008 at 6:18am
Sir, I cannot beleive anyone had the nerve to make something like this.
You're truly something else.
Justin French #23: Justin French - added August 16, 2008 at 5:58pm
Why thank you :)

I really appreciate it :)
bluemeanie #24: bluemeanie - added August 18, 2008 at 3:32pm
Can you not see that this idiot is silently making fun of all of you?

That is why I will not respond directly to him. He is taking all of your criticism and all of your continued negativity and using it as parody and fodder. That is, I suspect, why he made the film in the first place.

In fact, since I am certain that is why he made the film and this reaction is exactly what he was hoping
to achieve, I now change my review from 0/10 to a more respectable 5/10.

Mission accomplished, sir. Well done. That said -- the movie still fucking sucks.
Ginose #25: Ginose - added August 19, 2008 at 12:17am
No, really Billy Ray? Really? You think that was his point in making this movie all along? Wonderful theory.
And to think none of this could have been possible if it weren't for your review.
Tristan #26: Tristan - added August 19, 2008 at 12:19am
Jesus Christ buddy, fucking give it up. We get it. The movie sucks. It's horrible. You curse Billy Ray for bringing it to the site. Either way, you're contributing more than anyone and complaining about a film that was only made to get this kind of reaction. And don't give me that "Oh, really?" bullshit. Yes, I know you knew that. But it's just fucking annoying at this point. Quit commenting on the fucking movie, and we'll all enjoy seeing it slip off the homepage in peace.
Ginose #27: Ginose - added August 19, 2008 at 2:21am
Well, shit. I know damn-well hope it's annoying at this point, I started going for that around the second comment; I enjoyed the movie in just such a way. As a prank I absolutely loved it, I find it painfully funny at this point, so commenting on it feels like less of a danger and just a bit of fun. Don't be such a little bitch, man, read between the lines.
bluemeanie #28: bluemeanie - added August 20, 2008 at 2:34pm
I second the 'shut the fuck up', and will add 'don't be such a pretentious tool' and 'give it a rest'.
bluemeanie #29: bluemeanie - added August 20, 2008 at 2:36pm
But I think I can address those comments to everyone who has commented on this page, myself included.
Justin French #30: Justin French - added August 20, 2008 at 4:49pm
Wow, everyone now thinks that this movie is so bad that it must be a joke. It really isnt a joke tho maybe i would be made fun of a lot less if it just told people it was. Heres a message to everyone on this site: I'm sorry for telling ppl that they're just stupid if they don't like my movie - im kinda new at this whole moviemaking thing and wasnt really sure how to take criticism. i was also given some bad advice on how to promote the movie - i thought since no one would review my movie, i should make up fake quotes and put them on the cover including one from me. Frozen Flesh is on youtube and google video, no one is buying the dvd and i dont expect them to. i just wanted to make a movie and to get it shown and i guess i got what i wanted, tho i wasn't expecting this much outburst over something i made with leftover graduation money. i made a movie, its gotten reviewed, ppl have seen it, and its on IMDB and thats a hell of a lot more than some ppl can say. i just hope all of you can forgive me and hope that when u get another movie from me u wont run away and hide. im learning and doing my best but i really dont have anyone to teach me and so far hardly anyone has said anything positive about me or encouraging, its like no one really wants to help. ill just keep on making movies despite everyone thinking theyre the worst things ever - because im making movies and i like doing it and thats important. So Im sorry bluemeanie, fecal kid, ginose, 385, George Snow, etc. Im really sorry for making me sound like a complete jerk and for insulting you. and even tho you hated Frozen Flesh more than anything ever, i appreciate that you were honest and not sugarcoat me with lies.
Justin French #31: Justin French - added August 22, 2008 at 1:05pm
Good job bluemeanie!

The joke is now over.

I posted this on the IMDB boards and figured I'd it here too, though it's directed more at the IMDB users than anyone on this site, who were cordial, even if they hated the film.

(1 of 2)

So, I've been reading all of your postings and have responded to many of them in the exact same way: that of a clueless, self-promoting hack director completely unaware of his creative shortcomings.

An egotistical, talentless "artist" who fails to see that his own film is literally the worst film ever made.

Most of you have attacked me both creatively and personally. Some of you have been downright cruel and vicious. And others (you know who you are) have turned the tables and shown who you really are: clueless, self-promoting hacks who think that living in L.A. constitutes being "in the business" (guess what? it doesn't).

Very few of you have actually responded positively. Those who have have offered words of encouragement

So, now the truth will be revealed.

"Frozen Flesh" is a prank.

(FYI - so is "Evil Spirits")

A joke designed to bring out the best (and the worst) in vicious audiences who will spit and hurl personal insults at artists who want nothing more than to have themselves heard creatively.

Pretentious jerks who will do anything and everything to make themselves feel superior.

So, I made "Frozen Flesh" as an act of vigilance for all filmmakers out there who dedicate their heart & soul to their films, only to have them torn apart. It's one thing to attack a film. It's another to attack a fellow human being just because he expressed his creativity.

Much has been made about the 7 static images stretched out into two hours, including over 70 minutes of so-called "air stabbing" and watching water go from still to boiling - in its entirety.
Justin French #32: Justin French - added August 22, 2008 at 1:06pm
(2 of 2)

It took me about an hour one Saturday morning to come up with the entire film, from start to finish. I had about 10 minutes of footage that I slowed down and looped. And the "worst soundtrack ever" was purposely made that way. The red tint was meant to just add to the irritating, incompetent nature of the entire film.

And the clueless director who thinks his film is the best ever was nothing more than icing on the cake.

For those of you who think that I'm just trying to recover from my destroyed reputation, think about it.

Would anyone actually think this is the greatest film ever (as I clearly stated in my self-published review of the film)?

Would a director be clueless enough to actually post his own review on the DVD cover?

Did you notice how no one (not in "Frozen Flesh" or "Evil Spirits") ever shows his/her face?

So, while many of you thought that my true colors were being revealed by my being exposed as a talentless hack who will never make it in Hollywood, it is in fact you that is exposed!

I enjoyed laughing at all of the posts. You laughed at my expense, not realizing that the entire time I was laughing at your expense and making fun of all of you.

A few got the joke right away and I had to say you were wrong, that it wasn't a joke, just to keep the illusion going as long as possible.

And a lot of you just thought it was simply a terrible film (which it definitely is!) and shrugged it off as that. All of you should have said it was a terrible movie because there's nothing redeeming about it whatsoever.

Many of you really stood up for me and while you probably feel deceived (as you should), just know that there are young filmmakers out there who need encouragement and would really cherish the kind of support you gave me. I apologize for the deception.
Justin French #33: Justin French - added August 22, 2008 at 1:07pm
(3 of 2 - sorry, didn't think it would take three comments to post this)

However...

I have a message to those who took it so seriously and were so offended by the film and by me that they felt the need to bring themselves up by not only attacking me, but also by talking about how a real movie is made.

Please. Give me a break.

The joke's on you.
bluemeanie #34: bluemeanie - added August 22, 2008 at 2:57pm
All of this said -- when can we expect "Frozen Flesh 2: Time Stands Still"?
George Snow #35: George Snow - added August 22, 2008 at 8:12pm
I don't understand something, you said the movie is a joke, which is fine. But, you wrote -

"A joke designed to bring out the best (and the worst) in vicious audiences who will spit and hurl personal insults at artists who want nothing more than to have themselves heard creatively. "

WHY? What has happened in your past to make you do this?

Also, people on imdb aren't film makers, they're viewers who give opinions of what they've just watched. How could you ever expect any kind of positive or even helpful feedback on something that was designed to suck and be egotistical?

So, I just don't get it. But, OK.
Justin French #36: Justin French - added August 23, 2008 at 1:05pm
No "Frozen Flesh 2" LOL...
Optimus Prime #37: Optimus Prime - added January 20, 2009 at 1:12pm
Don't get it.
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