Vampyres (1974)

DVD Cover (Blue Underground)
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Overall Rating 61%
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Ranked #3,538
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Connections: Vampyres

Two mysterious women lure various passers-by to their rural mansion in the English countryside and hold them captive in order to feed on them to satisfy their insatiable thirst for blood. --IMDb
Marianne Morris
Marianne Morris
Anulka Dziubinska
Anulka Dziubinska
Murray Brown
Murray Brown
Brian Deacon
Brian Deacon
Sally Faulkner
Sally Faulkner
Review by Griffinheart
Added: October 17, 2008
"Succulent...sinister...theirs is the ultimate lust. They are...vampyres! Very unnatural ladies! Their lips are moist...and very, very red! Vampyres!"
-select lines from the U.S. trailer

I must say that the trailer is one of the best trailers ever and is probably better than the movie itself. That in mind, the trailer also sucks, but, every time the announcer said "Vampyres!", I wanted to see the movie more. Repeating the name of the movie every ten seconds turned out to be strangely hypnotic.

But, as for the plot itself, there really isn't that much. Right at the beginning, two women are shot to death while making love to each other. They are buried but rise from the dead every night (which, when outside, looks suspiciously like day time) to seduce men, make love to them, and then drink their blood before retreating back underground. Repeat. Then repeat again. The repeat a few more times. The end.

The plot does have a bit more detail, mainly centered around one man that is too alluring to be killed right away, but the above paragraph summarizes most of it. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out why no one bothered looking into the high number of car crashes in the area (used to cover up the vampires' murders) which are always filled with dead bodies and never any survivors. Or why there was a five minute conversation about how a wine connoisseur can't place the origin of this excellent blood red wine...when it turns out it's just wine. There were a few other oddities (like matches that, when lit, light up a room like a spotlight), but that's not why you're here, is it?

The nudity (I'll stop way short of calling it sex) is the softest of the softcore. A lot of boob shots and very little else, though a glancing shots of genitals did sneak in for about half a second twice in the film. The breasts were all obviously fake but were definitely passable. As for the gore, the blood was decent, but there isn't anything really surprising or new here.

Overall, the movie definitely comes across campily but in a good way. This type of movie isn't really my cup of tea, but, if you like campy, softcore light-slashers/vampire movies, you'll definitely like this one (toss on a couple points to my score if that's the case).

Chad #1: Chad - added 03/17/2011, 03:32 PM
"The breasts were all obviously fake" = really? All of the ones I saw seemed perfectly natural. Bizarre! Anyway, I just couldn't get into this one, as it was too slow-paced for the vast majority of the running time, and when it finally picked up the pace... well, it never really picked up the pace, it just got slightly less boring. Some boobs, some blood, plenty of yawns. 3/10.
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