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Tooth & Nail (2007)

DVD Cover (Lions Gate)
Movie Connections:
After Dark Horrorfest II
> Nightmare Man (2006)
> Crazy Eights (2006)
> Mulberry Street (2006)
> Unearthed (2007)
> Borderland (2007)
> Frontière(s) (2007)
> The Deaths Of Ian Stone (2007)
> Tooth & Nail (2007)
> Lake Dead (2007)
Genres:
Cannibal Film, Horror, Slasher Film
Director:
Mark Young Mark Young
Starring:
Nicole DuPort Nicole DuPort
Rider Strong Rider Strong
Michael Kelly Michael Kelly
Alexandra Barreto Alexandra Barreto
Robert Carradine Robert Carradine

4.8 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by Crispy
Added: August 03, 2009
As horror fans, we've all learned long ago that anything good rarely comes from movies with these abstract DVD covers. Tooth and Nail features one such cover, and while it's not changing my mind about this theory, I suppose the final product could have been a lot worse.

In the very near future, life as we know it will come to a screeching halt. Making a long story short, we ran out of gas. With our main source of fuel gone, electricity becomes history, and food and medical quality takes a nose dive. And with humans being the panicky destructive force they are, the majority of the species is wiped out by our own hands in a massacre for any remaining food and resources. A small group of survivors, led by Professor Darwin, have holed up in a Philadelphia hospital, trying to last as long as they can. While out on patrol, they happen across one mean looking mother with a scythe in hand and a man with a slit throat at his feet. After the killer runs off with some rifle rounds buzzing around his ears, a young woman is seen lying nearby, badly injured. They bring her back to the hospital where they learn her name is Neon, and boy does she have a story to tell. The man with the scythe was one of the Rovers, a pack of primitive cannibals that had recently killed and eaten her family one by one. It seems they've let her go for a reason, as the Rovers have followed her and gathered outside Darwin's hospital, waiting for night to fall.

There is some decent potential in this plot, and the movie proves this once the Rovers actually start storming the hospital. There are some legitimately tense scenes here as our frightened survivors try to stay out of the way of these hungry stalkers, but unfortunately there just aren't enough of them. Instead, we spend the majority of running time watching the infighting that goes on with our heroes as tensions mount. Naturally, this approach failed miserably, since a) nobody popped this in because they wanted to watch a drama, and b) these people really aren't that great of actors. Granted, I've seen a LOT worse, but the "heated" arguments between Rachel Miner and Nicole DuPort were, to put it bluntly, awful. Now, there could have been a possible redemption, as you might have noticed both Michael Madsen and Vinnie Jones are given top billing. Unfortunately, they probably got less than ten minutes of screen time combined; which is a damned shame, as they've both proven they can play a sadistic mad man quite well; (see Reservoir Dogs and The Condemned respectively) Madsen in particular had brought his creepy whispered A-game, and he could have carried this film a lot farther than it got if they only let him. However, that pair still wouldn't have been able to save it from the horrendous script. It's one of those ordeals where they have to explain every little thing, as if they're under the impression that their audience is too dense to figure it out for themselves. For example, the final twist. Once you see how it plays out, it's quite easy to put the pieces together. But just in case, one of the character literally spells out the whole scenario. And as if there were still people who didn't get it, this explanation is complete with flashbacks so we can actually watch the setup. The whole thing is tedious as hell, and could have easily been scrapped.

Now, while there's a decent sized handful of cliches in here, most of them aren't prevalent enough to cause too much damage. However, they did throw in one in particular that annoys me to no end whenever it's used, and I feel an unyielding need to bitch about it here. I'm referring to that old bit with the kid who's completely mute, only to break her silence at the end by ironically quoting a phrase from earlier in the movie. Seriously, how many times has this formula been used, and has it ever been executed well? It's time we let that one lie.

To wrap it up, this is actually one of the first movies in the series that I wouldn't immediately place among the bottom ranking, but it's still not anything wonderful. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just sort of there. The kind of movie you watch when it's literally the only thing on TV on a night you're too lazy to go to Blockbuster. 4.5/10.
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Unearthed Frontière(s) The Woman The Deaths Of Ian Stone See No Evil
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