Warning!!! Pedophile Released (2009)

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Overall Rating 35%
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Ranked #4,210
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Kai Lanette
Kai Lanette
Shane Ryan-Reid
Shane Ryan-Reid
Molly Wryn
Molly Wryn
Sean Cain
Sean Cain
Joanna Angel
Joanna Angel
Review by Chad
Added: November 17, 2009
Warning!!! Pedophile Released is the latest release from Shane Ryan, the guy best known for the Amateur Porn Star Killer movies, and it just goes to show that the man is well aware of the fact that sex sells... and the more taboo the subject matter is, the better. What is surprising about this release is that it's not nearly as exploitative as the title and Mr. Ryan's track record would imply. No, this release is more arthouse than anything, and the pieces of the puzzle that fall outside that "genre" almost exclusively fall into the drama category. Pair that up with an intriguing storyline, and one quickly realizes that this film should have just worked.

First up, let's meet the characters. Echo (Kai Lanette) and Malachi (Shane Ryan) are our heroes for this outing, and the two are madly in love with one another. There's just one problem: Echo is twelve years old, while Malachi is eighteen. The police are soon involved, and even though both of them swear that they've done nothing more than kiss, Malachi is dubbed a child molester and sent to jail where he will... well, it's no secret how fondly "baby rapers" are looked upon in the big house, let's leave it at that. This leaves Echo to fend for herself on the mean streets of California, and if losing the love of her life wasn't bad enough, a pair of hoodlums gang-rape her in a field a few days later. She winds up pregnant but doesn't tell anybody about it, her dad finds out about the pregnancy and kicks her out on the streets, and this little girl is forced to grow up fast. Drugs, prostitution, and theft are now the order of the day for the poor girl, while Malachi's spirit and body are slowly being broken in jail. Would the two have been better off if the police had simply left them to their own devices? What will happen when Malachi is finally released?

Regardless of your opinion on how right or how wrong those decisions by the characters were, that sounds like a damned interesting storyline. One could argue that the subject matter is shocking for the sake of being shocking, but that doesn't change the fact that this could have been a great film. However, the problem that will plague the vast majority of the film arises soon after you push play on your DVD player. You see, we watch as Echo walks around a deserted field while music plays, and at first, I thought nothing of it: the intro credits were rolling, and it's not uncommon for filmmakers to use stock footage during this chunk of the movie. We then get about five minutes of the movie proper, and... she starts walking around in another field for another five minutes. Then she goes to a Mexican restaurant and eats a burrito. Then she walks on the beach. Then she crosses the street. I would venture to guess that a solid eighty percent of the film is nothing more than our heroine performing mundane actions with no dialogue and nothing more than various pieces of music playing over top of it, and that figure doesn't count the scenes that add to the storyline but are still far too long (for example, a five minute scene where she shoplifts from a grocery store). Oh, that figure also doesn't count Joanna Angel's scene, an entirely irrelevant scene that seemed to be inserted only to give Mrs. Angel a role in the film and a chance to show off her body.

I hate to admit it, but I fast-forwarded through the last half hour of the movie, stopping only when actual pieces of dialogue popped up. I will say that I never touched the remote during the first hour, and that was thanks to some great cinematography as well as enjoyable music. There are some amazing shots on display here and there were various color filters applied to key scenes in post-production that made for some nice eye candy, but after an hour of this sort of thing, I simply had to tap out. This isn't a film where the storyline slowly unravels for our viewing pleasure: this is a film where the storyline is completely set aside to show off the cameraman's prowess. Depending on your appetite for that sort of thing, this will certainly be a "loved it" or "hated it" affair.

Unfortunately, I can't recommend this film. The idea presented here is a good one and it works well when allowed to (the final scene with the lovers was downright chilling), but this idea may have worked better if it were beefed up considerably or presented as a short film. The visuals themselves may have been good, but in my humble opinion, that doesn't make for an entertaining night in front of the tube. 4/10.
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