Sharktopus (2010)

DVD Cover (Anchor Bay)
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Connections: Sharktopus

The U.S. Navy's special group "Blue Water" builds a half-shark, half-octopus for combat. But the sharktopus escapes and terrorizes the beaches of Puerto Vallarta. --TMDb
Eric Roberts
Eric Roberts
Kerem Bürsin
Kerem Bürsin
Sara Malakul Lane
Sara Malakul Lane
Héctor Jiménez
Héctor Jiménez
Liv Boughn
Liv Boughn
Review by Crispy
Added: August 25, 2011
In theory, low budget monster movies should be the hardest movie to do wrong. Your target audience is tuning in wanting nothing more than cheese and a good time, and if you deliver, they're perfectly happy overlooking the crappy effects and awful acting. Yet for some reason, the grand majority of them can't even accomplish that much. However, the seasoned veteran Roger Corman rarely fails to please.

Realizing that heavy artillery is not the only form of weaponry available, the United States Navy thinks outside the box and contracts the genetic engineering company, Blue Water, to develop a bionic weapon: S11, a fusion of a shark and an octopus into one deadly creature. As a safety precaution, they've hard wired a computer onto its head which sends impulses directly into the beast's brain, allowing them to control its every move. While showing it off to the Commander in charge of the project, the device is damaged by a speedboat propeller, and the sharktopus is suddenly let loose on numerous of bikini-clad beach goers. The head of the company, Dr. Sands, sends his daughter, Nicole (who was the head bio-engineer on S11), and mercenary, Andy Flynn, out to recapture the monster. Meanwhile, budding journalist Stacy Everheart has gotten wind of the creature and hopes to use it to propel herself to superstardom.

Let's get it out of the way early on. Speaking perfectly objectively, Sharktopus sucks. With that said, I loved every second of it. The movie is just one big ball of cheese. As the paper thin plot moves along, we've got random scenes here and there of women in bikinis doing whatever for five seconds before the sharktopus eats them; and it's fun as hell thanks to the variety they used in the kills. Instead of just biting everyone, he also uses the tentacles to grab his victims, or if that fails, they also threw some spiked knives on the appendages as well. Why? Doesn't matter, it's awesome. And just for an added boost, S11 has no adversity to moving onto land with its tentacles to catch those women who dare run away. Technically speaking, the effects behind the creature are amateur at best, but that's not even an issue; because as bad as it looked, it still had a smile on my face the entire time it was on my screen.

I'm sure it goes without saying, but just for posterity I'll say it anyway: pretty much everyone in front of the camera ranged from average to mediocre. Our two main stars here were Kerem Bursin, who wasn't too bad when he was being cocky and cashing in on his charisma, but that went downhill quickly when it came time to actually act. His wanted love interest in the film was played by Sara Malakul Lane, who as can be expected, was dreadful. The rest of the cast merely serves to walk around in a bikini for a scene until they're eaten. Shandi Finnessey, of game show Lingo fame, looks exceptionally nice in hers. The sole exception to this rule is Eric Roberts, who I'm sure most of you will have seen in character roles in some more "legitimate" movies. He pops up in a lot of these cheesy monster movies, nice to see he's a fan.

Filmmakers need to realize that sometimes simplicity is key. Corman gets it. Corman knows that if you want to put out a movie about a shark/octopus hybrid eating bikini-clad women, then all you have to do is have a ball while making a movie about a shark/octopus hybrid eating bikini-clad women and the audience likely will too. As I'm pretty sure you've deduced from the title alone, Sharktopus is complete garbage on every front, and I absolutely loved it for that. 8/10.
Tired Tigress #1: Tired Tigress - added 08/25/2011, 01:47 PM
I love you. This movie was so much god damn fun.
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