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39%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #5,720
...out of 20,684 movies
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Six college students take a wrong turn and find themselves lost in a strangely deserted rural town... only to discover that this deceptively quiet place hides a murderous cult of children controlled by evil forces! Yet even as bodies begin cropping up all around them, the young friends decide to stay and rescue the children... or die trying!
--IMDb
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Review by Crispy
Added: March 10, 2012
I'm not sure why they ever went this far with such a crap franchise. I'm not sure how they made an additional three movies after this. Hell, I'm not even sure why I'm still watching them. But here we are: Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror.
A group of four friends are traveling through the country, following some more friends in another car who's Hansel-and-Gretling the way with blow-up sex toys. Apparently, they're going to drop the ashes of their dead friend, but run their car into a ditch. After walking into town, they learn from the town people about the estate of a mysterious hermit who lives in the corn field. He's adopted a bunch of kids to work his farm; kids who fanatically worship a god they call He Who Walks Behind the Rows. The name registers with Allison, whose estranged brother joined the cult long ago. With no way out of town for a few days, she decides to take the time and try and reconnect with her long lost sibling, unaware of the kids' bloody history.
It's obvious that the powers that be aren't even trying anymore. Unsurprisingly, we've degraded to the M.O. of the Friday the 13th series: random group of teens end up in the territory of He Who Walks Behind the Rows and are slaughtered one by one. Except the big story where one of the girls just so happens to have a brother in the cult is a lot more convoluted than we're "partying in the woods". Trying to put in an actual plotline is fine, but if you're going to make a barebones slasher movie, you can't give it this big story without the payoff; it's all or nothing. I'm sure it goes without saying that these snot-nosed little brats don't have anywhere near the charisma of our boy in the hockey mask. Since slasher movies live and die on how memorial their killers/deaths are, we just keep stacking up ninety minute reels chock full of bored sighs and wasted time. It's been less than forty-eight hours since the credits started rolling, and I can barely remember it. Shame too, since the series finally got away from voodoo and back to the farm tools where it started.
Wow, did they assemble some stinkers to throw in front of the camera. Our two male heroes, Alexis Arquette and Greg Vaughan, redefined awful, and Eva Mendes was so annoying that I was praying for someone to just haul off and smack the shit out of her. Then we have David Caradine as the head of this particular congregation. He's a name for the film, but doesn't actually do anything worthwhile. Speaking of villains, Adam Wylie is hands down the worst offender of non-menacing children playing the head kid thus far. There's nothing creepy about him at all; he should be cast as the geeky high school kid who spends half the movie in a locker and the other half receiving wedgies, not leading a murderous cult. By the end of it, he had annoyed me so badly I was literally fantasizing about punching him in the throat. It's not a good sign when you spend half your movie experience wishing bodily harm upon half the cast. Positives? I enjoyed Fred Williamson in his small role as the sheriff, and Kane Hodder had a minute and a half role. And that's that.
I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that part five is just another tepid romp through the cornfield. Maybe Arquette should have done his cross-dressing thing here. At least it would have livened things up a bit. 1/10.
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