Black Water (2007)

DVD Cover (Sony Home Entertainment)
Genres / Traits: Horror, Natural Horror, Crocodiles
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David Nerlich David Nerlich
Andrew Traucki Andrew Traucki
Diana Glenn Diana Glenn
Maeve Dermody Maeve Dermody
Andy Rodoreda Andy Rodoreda
Ben Oxenbould Ben Oxenbould
Fiona Press Fiona Press

5.9 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by Crispy
Added: May 24, 2012
From Red Water to Black Water; one more in a long line of killer crocodile films, this movie comes all the way from Australia to cure insomnia across the globe.

Not much of an actual story here, but let's do what we can. Grace (Diana Glenn), along with her sister Lee (Maeve Dermody) and her husband Adam (Andy Rodoreda), have decided to take a little fishing trip into the Australian Mangrove (essentially a shallow salt-water bay with trees growing out of the water) with their tour guide, Jim (Ben Oxenbould). Out on the water, our fateful group just sets about casting their lines when something monstrous cap-sizes their boat. Sans Jim, the remaining three pop-up, and with Adam yelling about a crocodile, the the three climb up into a nearby tree for refuge. Once there, they try to plot their way out of harm's way, but the croc isn't going to just mosey off with dinner just a few feet above the water.

It takes a long time before a crocodile is actually present in the film. In the meantime, we're treated to our characters making the standard arguments of "Do we try and run" or "stay and wait for help," the fact that no one knows where they are, the obligatory in-fighting, the crushing isolation. But it's all straight out of the "natural horror 101" textbook, with nothing of substance backing is up. First of all, it helps to actually show there's an animal present to drive these points home, but the biggest grievance is the lack of any emotion when the characters bring these points up. The points are just made in a casual tone of voice, as opposed as a frightened revelation after a few failed attempts. It's a cliche yes, but at least it's somewhat effective. I can see how they were trying to bank on the isolation and claustrophobia as movies like this do, but you gotta know what you're doing. Our hapless pair of directors did not.

I hate to tread into spoiler territory, but this little trope has long annoyed the shit out of me, and I feel the need to rant about it. Attention to anyone who has or plans to make a killer crocodile movie: crocs don't store food in a hidden nest somewhere. So anytime you want to use that bit where the croc grabs the main character, and everyone thinks they're dead until they wake up later in the movie surrounded by the dead bodies of previous victim, just don't fucking do it. It's a total myth, completely unrealistic to assume they'd survive anyway, and it's just plain stupid.

Next time you're babysitting your kid cousins and they're climbing trees, imagine them with Australian accents and you'll get the exact same effect. Skip it. 3/10.
Chad #1: Chad - added 06/01/2012, 12:53 AM
It's nothing new, I'll give you that, but I still enjoyed it. Very atmospheric with some great croc shots. The part with the two girls in the water? Bad freaking ass. Not perfect, but I had fun with this one. 7/10.
Crispy #2: Crispy - added 06/01/2012, 01:23 AM
2 girls, 1 croc
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