The Stoned Age (1994)

DVD Cover (Lions Gate)
James Melkonian James Melkonian
Michael Kopelow Michael Kopelow
Bradford Tatum Bradford Tatum
China Kantner China Kantner
Renee Allman Renee Allman
Clifton Collins Jr. Clifton Collins Jr.

6.1 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Genres: Comedy, Stoner Comedy, Teen Comedy
Determined to avoid another night of driving aimlessly around Torrance in the Blue Torpedo, Joe and Hubbs set out on a quest for fine chicks. Their paths soon cross with Tack, from whom they learn about a pair of foreign radical chicks hanging out near the Frankie Avalon place. Over Joe's objections, Hubbs worms Tack out of the deal, and the pair take a slow ride toward their destiny. --IMDb
Review by Chad
Added: October 14, 2004
Taking place back in the seventies, we meet up with a burn-out driving down the freeway, who happens to notice Crump's Brother (Michael Wiseman) hitch-hiking. Since Crump's Brother (this is the only name he's given throughout the movie) is quite the bad ass, and our stoner friend doesn't want his ass kicked later on, he picks him up and gives him a ride. During the trip, the conversation gets around to the females, and Crump's Brother mentions that he's meeting up with these two chicks later on in the evening down by the Frankie Avalon place. Later, burnout tells the story to his similarly burnt-out friends, one of them being a particularly obnoxious fellow by the name of Tack (Clifton Gonzalez Gonzalez). The rest of the crew is too scared of Crump's Brother to try their luck with his chicks, but Tack decides to give it a go. Meanwhile, Joe (Michael Kopelow) and Hubbs (Bradford Tatum), fresh off of an enthralling discussion about how much of a pussy song Blue Oyster Cult's (Don't Fear) The Reaper is, see Tack trying to hitch a ride. Joe hocks a loogie into his face from their speeding car, as Tack yells out that he knows where some chicks are. The brakes are slammed, Tack is picked up, and it's off to get some poontang. The rest of the evening deals with Joe and Hubbs trying to ditch Tack, avoid Crump's Brother, keep away from Officer Dean (Kevin Kilner), and of course, score with Jill (China Kantner, who according to this movie, looks like the chick on the cover of the "Virgin Killer" album) and Lanie (Renee Griffin).

The storyline up above sounds pretty thin, but there's a large number of twists to the storyline to keep things fresh and moving along nicely. This is basically one of those films where a very basic plot is set, but a large number of sub-plots lead up to the grand finale of the movie. There's a few scenes that tend to drag a bit, but overall, the movie is quite entertaining from start to finish. The laughs come out at a decent pace, and while some of the jokes fall a bit flat, there's a good number of flat-out hilarious scenes to be found; the results of Lanie's dad (David Groh) arriving home to find the hoodlums with his girls ranks somewhere up in the top twenty most hilarious scenes of all time. The (Don't Fear) The Reaper discussion also goes on throughout the movie, with Joe being a fan of the song and finding some real meaning to it, while Hubbs claims that "every band puts out a pussy song in order to find out who the faggots are", and this is just that song from Blue Oyster Cult. The end to this subplot is a bit odd, but up until that point it works out quite nicely.

The acting portion of the film is also great. While the stars of the movie are of slightly below average acting abilities, they end up being entertaining as hell throughout the movie. After the first few scenes, you start to completely overlook their lack of acting abilities, which is quite the testament to their charisma. Bradford Tatum (Hubbs) is the prime example of this, as a very high percentage of his lines come out sounding forced and read-from-the-script. Even so, he keeps the character interesting throughout, which was definitely a shocker. Michael Kopelow (Joe) also falls into this category, but to a slightly lesser degree. Once again though, his portrayal of the underdog and a hearty helping of charisma keep him from falling into the unentertaining realm. Sadly, I can't say the same for China Kantner (Jill). She's hot as hell and more than willing to show the goods, but that's about all she has going on in this movie. The few scenes in which she's chatting with the guys tend to slow things down a bit, but thankfully, this is all kept to a minimum. Renee Griffin (Lanie) is a decent enough actress in this film, but she comes off as seeming completely bored throughout most of her parts. While this is fitting to the character she was playing, it seems like more than just the character was finding the surrounding events to be dull. David Groh (Lanie's dad) steals the show when he arrives onto the scene, but sadly, he doesn't really get a huge part in the film. Kevin Kilner (Officer Dean) also falls into this category, but once again, he only shows up in three scenes in the movie. I'd guess these two fellows would have gotten annoying had they gotten a lot of screen-time, but the hilarity came out in droves when they did arrive. Making some cameo appearances here were Taylor Negron (Fast Times At Ridgemont High), Frankie Avalon, and two members of Blue Oyster Cult. Taylor Negron has about two minutes of screen-time as a jock, but does a decent enough job with it. Frankie Avalon has a grand total of one line at the end of the movie, but that one line makes for one of the best laughs in the movie. Buck and Eric, two members of BOC also appeared in this movie, but I missed their appearances. After sending the movie back to Netflix, I find out that they show up in the movie after the credits have rolled... whoops. Suppose you may want to be on the look-out for that if you're a fan.

Overall, this turned out to be a great comedy. If you liked the general feel of "Dazed And Confused", but thought it got a bit too serious, this would be a movie you'd enjoy. 7/10.
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