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The Hills Have Eyes, Part 2 (1985)

DVD Cover (Kino Video)
Movie Connections:
The Hills Have Eyes
> The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
> The Hills Have Eyes, Part 2 (1985)
> The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
> The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)
Genres:
Horror, Slasher Film
Director:
Wes Craven Wes Craven
Starring:
Tamara Stafford Tamara Stafford
Kevin Spirtas Kevin Spirtas
John Bloom John Bloom
Colleen Riley Colleen Riley
Michael Berryman Michael Berryman

3.8 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by Chad
Added: January 07, 2005
We start this rubbish with Bobby, the male survivor from the first movie, talking to his psychiatrist (David Nichols) about the events. The poor guy is scarred for life due to those events, but even the psychiatrist tells him to suck it up and quit being such a pussy. Anywho, Bobby is now a huge fan of motorcycle racing, so much so that he's invented a new type of fuel ("Super Formula") that will turn him and his racing buddies into millionaires. The only problem is, they have to demonstrate this new fuel at a race out in the desert. Bobby winds up having a nervous breakdown over having to venture out into the desert, so the cannibal chick formerly known as Ruby (Janus Blythe), now known as his best friend Rachel, agrees to do the demonstrating for him. Bobby gives the thumbs up, and isn't seen for the rest of the movie (thank goodness). Going along for the ride with Rachel is all of Bobby's racing buddies... and if you thought the Carter clan had a lot of asses in their car, wait until you check this one out. First up, there's Cass (Tamara Stafford), Bobby's blind psychic girlfriend. Then, there's Roy (Kevin Spirtas), the expert motorcycle racer along with his buddies Harry (Peter Frechette), the practical joker, and Hulk (John Laughlin), the muscled up ex-hippie. The token comic-relief black guy is represented here by Foster (Willard E. Pugh), and he brings along his girlfriend Sue (Penny Johnson) as well. Finally, Beast makes a return... you remember him, the dog from the first movie? Yeah... so, back to the movie. The group make their way through the desert, sticking to the paved road like good boys and girls, when they realize that none of them remembered to set their watches ahead for daylight savings time, and therefore, they're not going to make it to their destination in time. They come up with the bright idea of taking a shortcut through the desert across an old dirt road, and I'll give you three guesses as to what happens next. The former cannibal clan have been reduced to mere murderers in this movie, and are led by Jupiter's brother, who's known as The Reaper (John Bloom). Rounding out his gang of merry mutants are Pluto (Michael Berryman), and... that's it. Two cannibals terrorize, torture, and kill the entire bus load of kids.

Now then, I wasn't a huge fan of the first film. However, that movie was film of the century compared to this crap. For starters, we have the mile-wide plot holes... for example, the origin of the cannibals is clearly spelled out in the first one, and there's no way that Jupiter had a brother. Where this guy figures into the story is anybodys guess. Also, Pluto had his neck ripped out by a dog in the first movie, but he's back in this sequel with no scars to show for it (to be fair though, it's said that The Reaper "patched him up" immediately following the attack... which just throws even more confusion onto the pile). Rounding out this rant, the bus doesn't actually break down in this movie... no sir, they merely run out of gas. However, they can't use the tanks full of gas that they brought along for the motorcycle deal, as it would "blow that bus sky-high". Now, I've never rode on a motorcycle, but I would think that a bus would be able to absorb just a bit more punishment than a motorcycle.

If all of that nonsense wasn't enough, we then get into the flashbacks to the first movie. Within ten seconds of the movie starting up, Bobby gets a flashback sequence and we're treated to the entire scene in which Jupiter was tricked and killed in the original. Ruby then gets into the act, with a flashback to her life as a cannibal, how she saved the baby and murdered her own brother. Then, the dog gets a flashback to himself tearing out Pluto's throat. Yes, you read that right... the dog gets its own flashback sequence.

Finally, we have the storyline itself. The kids know about what happened in the same desert that they're going through, and even joke about it whilst en route to the location where it happened. After the bus breaks down, stranding everyone out in the desert, they decide that they need to incorporate every bad eighties cliché into one huge chunk of boring movie time. The whole "dramatic music, leading the audience to believe something big is going to happen, only to find out one of the guys is playing a joke" thing? It's done here... twice. Kids wandering off into the pitch black night to hunt for the killers, only to be killed off themselves? Ditto. Killers lurking about, which prompts two lovers to jump into the broken down bus in order to have sex? Check. A woman that decides to put the killer out of her mind by taking a shower, via a hose hanging from a pole, in order to pump up the boob count? It's all here. Now, I'm a huge fan of eighties slashers, which is what this movie turns out to be. My standards for enjoyment from an eighties slasher are incredibly low, but this doesn't live up to those very low standards. That's pretty impressive, actually.

Wes Craven is a decent director, but this is one of the most god awful movies that has made its way onto my DVD player. Avoid at all costs. 1/10.
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Shakes #1: Shakes - added 01/22/2009, 12:53 PM
^ What he said. 1/10
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