Conan The Destroyer (1984)

DVD Cover (Universal)
Add to Collection
Sign up to add this to your collection
Add to Favorites
Sign up to add this to your favorites
User Lists:
> Fantasy Films
Overall Rating 57%
Overall Rating
Ranked #1,490
...out of 11,602 movies
Check In? Sign up to check in!

Connections: Conan The Barbarian

The wandering barbarian, Conan, alongside his goofy rogue pal, Malak, are tasked with escorting Queen Taramis' virgin niece, Princess Jehnna and her bodyguard, Bombaata, to a mystical island fortress. They must retrieve a magical crystal that will help them procure the horn that legends say can awaken the god of dreams, Dagoth. Along the way, Conan reunites with the wise wizard, Akiro and befriends the fierce female fighter, Zula. Together the heroes face ancient traps, powerful Wizards, plots of betrayal, and even the dream god, Dagoth, himself! --IMDb
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Grace Jones
Grace Jones
Wilt Chamberlain
Wilt Chamberlain
Tracey Walter
Tracey Walter
Review by Chad
Added: February 25, 2005
Our hero Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) returns for another adventure after the events that transpired in the first film of the series. This time, he and his inept accomplice Malak (Tracey Walter) are summoned by Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas), who has a favor to ask of Conan. There's an ancient scroll, she explains, that tells of a young lady who will be born with a mark. It is the destiny of this young lady to retrieve a magical key, use the key to unlock a cave, and retrieve and ultra-magical horn that will restore a God to life amongst humans. As it turns out, Jehnna (Olivia D'Abo), the niece princess of this queen, has been born with that very mark, so she requests that Conan escort her on her journey to make sure that no harm comes of her. In exchange for his services, Taramis will resurrect Conan's love-interest Valeria (the lady from the first movie). What he doesn't know, however, is that the God that will be returned to life will be under the control of Queen Taramis, and will be used by her to rule the world after she sacrifices Jehnna. Conan agrees to the deal, and Jehnna tags along with her bodyguard Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), who has been instructed by Taramis to kill Conan after the horn has been retrieved. Before setting out on the journey, Conan visits his old wizard friend Akiro (Mako) and asks him to accompany them on their quest, and he also finds a savage female fighter by the name of Zula (Grace Jones) who agrees to help out as well. The six set out on their journey, and we have another entry in the series.

Conan The Barbarian was the film that preceded this one, and if you haven't read my review of that, then you may have missed that I thoroughly enjoyed that movie. The character of Conan was portrayed quite true to the source material, the storyline was great, and everything worked out very nicely. Then, we have this sequel, and true to the trend, it didn't come close to living up to the original. By far, the hugest problem here is that instead of having an all-out fantasy / action / adventure epic that is geared more towards teens or adults as was the case in the original, the director of this film decided it would be better for the product to aim it towards children. Yes, with the removal of a very small amount of blood and perhaps some cleavage (no nudity), this movie would be fit to show on a kiddie network after school has let out. For anyone out there who isn't familiar with the character of Conan, let me assure you... this is a far cry from what the character was supposed to be about. Imagine, if you will, taking the character of Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees and making a movie with them... a movie that involves zero blood, zero gore, zero nudity, zero profanity, and then slapping a PG rating on it. It most certainly would not work out with either of the aforementioned characters, just as it did not work out here. The end result in this movie wasn't completely unwatchable if you're a die-hard fan of the fantasy / action genre, but it didn't really feel like a Conan film... more along the lines of just another generic fantasy film that could have been so much better.

Again, I'd like to refer you, the reader, to the original movie in the series. Upon viewing that film, one would be exposed to a number of sub-plots, a good sense of pacing, and even great character development from a barbarian who doesn't speak much. The events there are handled with seriousness, which tends to immerse the viewer in the story that is being presented. None of these traits are presented here. Conan is portrayed as a mindless hack-n-slash guy, Jehnna is the bitchy princess, Taramis is the evil queen, Akiro is the great wizard, and so on down the character list. The story itself is a very linear experience - get the key, get the horn, save the princess, kill the monster, roll credits. It ended up seeming as though the director wanted to throw in every bad movie cliché possible into this film, and the results of such sure weren't pretty. However, there was one thing above all else that turned me off to this film, and that would be the character of Conan's sidekick Malak. Malak is your typical bumbling idiot, always screwing things up and getting in the way of the heroes, and always eager to drop a one-liner. If nothing else, those constant one-liners was the thing that really started to grate on my nerves shortly after popping this DVD into my player. An action scene will start to unravel - BAM, one-liner. Middle of said action scene, cut over to Malak, BAM, one-liner. Finishing up the scene, and you guessed it... one-liner. It wouldn't even have been so bad if the guy was a good actor, or if the jokes had been funny, but as it turned out it did nothing but distract from the ongoing events. The guy will certainly drive viewers mad by the twenty-minute mark (if not sooner), but of course, his actions continue throughout the film right up until the credits start to roll.

Overall, this would be a movie to avoid unless you're a hardcore fan of these action / fantasy films or a huge fan of Conan. Personally, I had to wipe a few tears away after comparing the greatness of the original to this mess of a film. 3/10.
Lucid Dreams #1: Lucid Dreams - added 04/27/2009, 12:54 PM
Somebody I worked with threw this on and now I want to beat him to death. I'll agree with everything Chad said on here, plus Olivia D'Abo couldn't act to save her life. 3/10
Sign up to add your comment. Sign up to add your comment.
Recommended Movies
Conan The Barbarian Red Sonja The Beastmaster King Kong Escapes Conan The Barbarian Sorceress The Sword And The Sorcerer Warcraft Fire And Ice The Lost Empire The Warrior And The Sorceress Beastmaster III: The Eye Of Braxus The Mummy Deathstalker Deathstalker And The Warriors From Hell Deathstalker II: Duel Of The Titans Hundra Amazons
Layout, reviews and code © 2000-2022 | Privacy Policy
Contact: Join us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Review Updates