Tainted (1998)

DVD Cover (Troma Entertainment)
Genres: Horror, Horror Comedy, Teen Horror, Vampire Film
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Brian Evans Brian Evans
Jason Brouwer Jason Brouwer
T.J. Timon T.J. Timon
Ronnie Walsh Ronnie Walsh
Greg James Greg James
Stacey Murphy Stacey Murphy

4.4 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by Christopher
Added: March 21, 2005
JT is a film buff and owns a video store with his best friend Ryan. On this night, the two and another friend have plans to go see a movie in the down over. But their friend has to cancel due to breaking his leg the night before. Now with no ride, they ask the newly hired employee, Alex, for a ride. While on the way into town, Alex's car over heats. His ex-girlfriend lives a few blocks away, so they head to her house for help. On the way, they are assaulted by two street thugs. Alex tried to reason with them, but they just wouldn't listen. So he bit them both on the neck. Turns out that he's really a vampire.

Alex explains to them about him being a vampire. They believe him, but really don't know what to think about it all. And of course, Alex's ex-girlfriend, Adia, is a vampire too. Alex and Adia quickly get into an argument when he arrives, but she ends up helping him anyway. She tells them to take her boyfriend, Slain's, car. On their way back to Alex's car, they notice the trunk had popped open. When Alex gets out to close it, he discovers a dead body in the trunk, along with a cooler filled with blood. Vampire blood that is each labeled with a blood type. Alex quickly calls Adia to tell her what's going on, but it's too late.

Slain overhears the entire conversation and kills Adia. The group gets back to Adia's house to find her dead on the kitchen floor. They catch Slain going through his trunk to grab his cooler of blood. Alex tries to fight him, but loses. When trying to figure out what he's up to, they remember he works in a hospital. When a person recently becomes a vampire, they normally go through a phase that makes them want to inflict their pain on everyone else. So by getting other vampires blood and labeling their type, he can mix it with normal blood at the hospital and eventually infect everyone else. Now it's up to the three to stop Slain before he changes everyone into vampires.

Imagine Kevin Smith's "Clerks" meets a very actionless vampire film, and you have Tainted. JT and Ryan make film metaphors about their lives through out the entire movie, then speak as if they know every word in the Webster Dictionary. JT and Ryan are just like younger version of Randal and Dante. It's not very original, but they do a decent job with all the comparisons and analogies, so it works out. They acted like they actually knew what they were talking about, and not like they were reading something off of a sheet of paper, which helped out a lot. The first half of the film was basically just them two talking, so it did some good with the above mentioned attributes.

As a vampire movie, it had a neat story behind it, but the movie itself just didn't come together as well as it could have. The vampires looked like average people with fangs. The blood that would appear from each victim when bitten was little to none. There was basically nothing original in the film at all. Given not every vampire flick should have mutilated monsters as vampires with blood gushing out of every orifice, but that would have certainly helped out this film. Having the length run shortly over one hundred minutes certainly didn't make things any easier. For a sarcastic comedy, pretty good. For a vampire film, no so good.

Final Conclusion: 6/10
Crispy #1: Crispy - added 03/22/2005, 03:11 AM
was adia hot?
Christopher #2: Christopher - added 03/22/2005, 08:43 PM
You'd have to ask someone that's attracted to females.
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