Cheerleader Autopsy (2003)

DVD Cover (Sub Rosa Studios)
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Overall Rating 23%
Overall Rating
Ranked #7,674
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Brian D. Smith
Brian D. Smith
Brian C. Smith
Brian C. Smith
Josh Latta
Josh Latta
Calu Morton
Calu Morton
Misty Kapp
Misty Kapp
Review by Chad
Added: May 12, 2005
Our feature film centers around the fine young ladies of the Fighting Beavers cheerleading team from Stinkwater High School, who are on their way to a cheerleading competition in order to represent their home-town (in other words, "show the world their beavers"). Tragedy strikes, however, when the bus breaks down out in the middle Hickville, Georgia. While the bus driver attempts to repair the bus, the cheerleaders decide to go out back behind the bus and get in a bit of cheerleading practice. Tragedy strikes again when a drunken redneck, who was sitting in his lawn-chair shooting bottles, misses the bottle and shoots the bus-driver in the back, killing him. Upon dying, the bus-driver drops the can of gasoline and his cigarette, which burns both him and the cheerleaders' coach to death. It also causes the bus to roll backwards, killing all of the cheerleaders and tearing their bodies to shreds.

Meanwhile, Blain Prunus (Brian D. Smith) has just been kicked out of Harverd Medical School due to his horrible grades. His backup plan consists of going to work for his coroner uncle Clyde (Brian C. Smith) down in the small town of, you guessed it, Hickville, Georgia. Upon arriving at Uncle Clyde's place of business, Blain finds that his uncle is now suffering from Alzheimer's disease and is quite forgetful about even the most mundane things... why he's at the airport, who Blain is, what his job as both the town coroner and sheriff consists of, etc. If that wasn't bad enough, Blain also finds out that there's a rather large batch of corpses waiting to be taken care of, namely, those cheerleaders. When Blain discovers that Clyde isn't the most humane coroner on the planet and sells off the bodies to a neighboring dog-food factory, things get quite interesting indeed... and that's not even factoring in the subplot revolving around the necrophiliac janitor Norbert Wiffel (Josh Latta).

Here we have a fine entry in the black comedy genre from the good folks at Sub Rosa Studios. For those in the crowd who can laugh at some truly sick shit, this would be a movie to pick up. Nothing is taboo here... sex with corpses, dead babies, a man chopping off a corpses penis in order to sew it onto his own body, and even more bizarre stuff occurs within the seventy minutes that this film runs. Yes, if those few examples didn't clue you in, the jokes are quite obscene... therefore, if you're easily shocked or have any sort of decency, this would probably be a movie to skip. However, if you can find it in yourself to laugh at things such as a comedic scene involving a coroner ripping two unborn fetuses out of their deceased mother's stomach in order to eat them and potentially cure his Alzheimer's disease, well, this one should be right around the top of your to-rent list.

While the jokes are crude, filthy, and (for the most part) hilarious, keep in mind that this was a pretty low-budget offering. The gore and corpse effects are pretty laughable, with plastic mannequins being used in most of the scenes involving the dead cheerleaders. Yes, other than those opening ten minutes and a small bit part at the end, those cheerleaders on the cover have no spot in the grand majority of the film. Although the cover art and even the description on the back may mislead you, there's not a whole lot of murders or T&A here; this is almost a pure comedy from start to finish. Sure, there's plenty of gore as a result of the various dealings with the corpses, but those unlucky renters who think that they're picking up a horror will be sorely disappointed.

One thing that really surprised me about this film was the quality of the acting. Normally, I don't expect much from the actors and actresses involved in low-budget films such as this... however, this one turned out to be quite the exception to the rule. Sure, the cheerleaders were pretty bad in the acting department, and co-star Brian D. Smith (Blain) wasn't too hot either... but three characters more than made up for those performances. Brian C. Smith (Clyde), Josh Latta (Norbert), and the bus-driver (whose name I missed) put out some excellent performances here, performances that really made the movie that much better. Brian C. Smith and the bus-driver were so enjoyable thanks to their humorous lines and the manner in which they delivered them, while Josh Latta was great as the sick and twisted guy out for revenge on those who have wronged him. As I mentioned, the acting side of things is something I normally skip over on these low-budget offerings, but these three fellows really did a great job here.

Overall, this one would definitely be worth a rental for those who aren't easily shocked. The jokes would be pretty offensive to anyone with any sort of "normal" values, so I wouldn't advise this one as a date-movie... but if you can laugh at some pretty fucked up imagery, this one would come highly recommended from yours truly. 7/10.
Christopher #1: Christopher - added 08/08/2007, 02:04 PM
The only good thing about this film was the Faith No More shirt one of the yokels was wearing at the beginning.
Crispy #2: Crispy - added 12/16/2010, 04:34 PM
This might be the worst movie ever made. Loved it.
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