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Actress Apocalypse (2005)

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Overall Rating 53%
Overall Rating
Ranked #10,636
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A sordid expose of the deviant behavior that takes place behind the scenes on a no budget movie. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: June 26, 2005
In this "documentary", we watch as a movie-crew consisting of director David B. Lincoln III (Garo Nigoghossian), his brother and producer Vance Lincoln (Greg G. Freeman), boom-mic operator The Golden Terror (Jay Ingle), and cameraman Fernando Peters (Angel Martin) attempt to make a movie. Now, this isn't just any movie that they're shooting... it's intended to be a horror masterpiece of epic proportions. Clearwater Canyon is the name of the film, and it involves a big, gay, mullet-headed Indian (yes, this is the actual script requirement) who kills young ladies. The filming will take place both inside David's shed and inside his house, while Fernando will be on hand to shoot a documentary of the entire filming process. The problems begin when only one person (Dahlia Legault) shows up on the first day of filming, and it all goes downhill from there. After some disagreements between the two brothers, Vance takes over the film and rewrites it to include gay zombies instead of the gay Indian... and as the stress builds, Vance slowly loses his grip on reality and begins actually murdering the women on camera. No longer is this a simple horror movie... it has actually turned into a snuff film. Lily Walker, Kenzie Lovelay, and Kerri Donich also show up as some of the actresses.

The "mockumentary" genre usually turns out some good movies (see: The Blair Witch Project and The Last Horror Movie), so I had high hopes for this one. It turns out that this is also quite the good movie, though it certainly isn't for everyone. We have a pretty original storyline, and while that's a good thing on its own, the thing that really makes this movie work is the humor behind it. Director Richard R. Anasky (the real director) keeps things moving along nicely and never forgets what type of movie he's shooting. Too often in these types of films, the director will get side-tracked or try to change the tone of the movie at the half-way point. This is not the case here... if you enjoy the first ten minutes of the film, you'll love the remainder of the running time.

While a good storyline and some great humor can make for an interesting film, it's the cast that really determines how well a movie will succeed. You could pack some hilarious material inside of the best storyline in the world, but if it's performed by a lackluster cast, the movie will come off as being just average... forgettable at best. Once again, this movie shines in that aspect. Each cast member turns in a great performance, with Garo Nigoghossian showing off exactly why he got the lead role with his truly great performance. The man constantly brings out the "unintentional laugh" through his actions and speech, and never fails to elevate the scenes to a much higher status as a result. The real highlight of the cast, however, is the gay boom-mic operator Jay Ingle. The character that this guy plays has got to be one of the funniest that I have seen in some time. There's plenty of stereotypical gay jokes to be found coming out of his mouth (such as the explanation of how a circle jerk will bring the cast closer together), but each of these is played out in such a fashion as to be both hilarious and (I'd assume) non-offensive to actual gay people. There's a thin line there for sure, but Anasky does a good job of just barely staying on the safe side of that line. He also handles Ingle's character extremely well here; too much of this material could have easily ruined the movie, but too little would have been a crime. Thankfully, Anasky knows when to hold the character back and when to let him loose with his (seemingly) improv material.

Definitely worth a viewing. You can't go wrong with an original and interesting storyline, great cast members, some truly hilarious scenes, and of course, the males in the audience will surely love the almost-obscene amounts of flesh from the gorgeous females. 7/10.
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