Bikini Goddesses (1996)

VHS Cover (Cinema Home Video)
David DeCoteau David DeCoteau
Alton Butler Alton Butler
Claudiu Trandafir Claudiu Trandafir
James Edwards James Edwards

3.6 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Genres: Fantasy, Sex Comedy, Sexploitation, Softcore Sex Film
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Review by Chad
Added: July 15, 2005
In this Romanian (excuse me, Greek) erotic-comedy, we find that young William (Alton Butler) is being sent to live with his estranged father Quentin (Claudiu Trandafir) for the summer. Turns out that his mother and her new boyfriend want to take a vacation to the Bahama's for the summer, minus poor Billy. Quentin isn't too happy about this, however, as he is currently in the midst of attempting to beat a deadline set by his boss at the hotel he works at. If he doesn't turn business around in thirty days, he's going to be standing in the unemployment line. Quentin decides to do the natural thing that anyone would do in his situation and puts Billy to work for mere pennies in order to cut costs and raise the profits. It's going to be a pretty shitty summer for Billy... that is, until he finds some ancient ruins which are rumored to grant wishes to those who make a wish at noon. Billy makes his wish, and out pops three good-looking ladies who are now under his control. Three gorgeous ladies who are completely under the control of a nineteen-year-old male... do I really need to explain where the storyline goes from there?

If you're expecting a good amount of storyline or laughs from this movie, then you're really going to be in for a shock once you hit the play button on your DVD player. If, however, you're in the mood for gratuitous T&A and simulated love-making, then this would be the movie for you. That's really the extent of the movie... if you were to remove all of that from this eighty-minute movie, you'd be left with a movie that runs for about fifteen minutes. Some of the comedy scenes that lead up to these sex scenes are pretty funny, especially the conversation about whether bulls or camels have larger testicles... but unless you're looking for ample amounts of female nudity, you'd probably be disappointed with this once the credits start rolling.

I enjoy a good porno flick as much as the next guy, and I (obviously) enjoy "real" movies. I'm not a huge fan of these types of films that don't really fit into either of the aforementioned categories, but I do realize that some people are. Now, my only gripe about this particular entry into the genre is the amount of looping that is involved with the sex scenes. Each scene runs for roughly ten minutes, but there's only about five minutes worth of material in most scenes. For the most part, these scenes will show three or four shots of the couple going at it, and then we'll see the same scenes repeated in a different order. During each scene, we'll see the same shots repeated back no less than three times. I could deal with ten minutes worth of erotica in each scene, but looping these same shots over and over caused me to push the fast-forward button more than a few times.

If this were a stand-alone movie, I wouldn't recommend it. However, since the only way to get it on DVD is as a bonus feature on Seduction Cinema's release of Bikini Girls On Dinosaur Planet, and since I did enjoy the feature presentation on the disc, I'd recommend giving it a watch after checking out the ever-so-hot Misty Mundae in Bikini Girls. 4/10.
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