Stan Marsh / Eric Cartman / Narrator / Phillip / Muhammad / Canadian Network President / SNN News Reader / Trucker / Reporter #1 / Reporter #3 / Reporter #4 / Reporter #5 / Reporter #6 / President of Fox / Mitchell / Peter Griffin / Waiter / Gary Coleman / Abort System / American #1 / Cartoon George Bush / American #3 / American #4 / Cartoon Jesus
(voice)