Mongolian Death Worm (2010)

DVD Cover (Lions Gate)
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Overall Rating 34%
Overall Rating
Ranked #6,320
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When an American oil company sets up an experimental drilling plant out in the vast deserts of Mongolia, they awaken a nest. The deadly creatures begin to breed and spread, devouring everyone in their path. The only person who can stop them is treasure hunter and adventure seeker who spent his life searching for a legendary tomb, fabled to be protected by the Death Worms. He knows he must do what he can to kill the creatures, but stopping these monsters may mean destroying his life's work forever! --TMDb
Review by Crispy
Added: May 20, 2011
My first impression of this movie was seeing that amazing DVD cover sitting on Wal-Mart's shelf. I've always had a fondness for these crazy monster movies, so this was moved right up to the top of the Netflix queue. When it arrived, I was definitely excited, but I've been burned enough times by these flicks to get my hopes too high. As you might have guessed, that was a good decision.

It's business as usual in the Mongolian desert. Sherriff Timur (George Cheung) has once again saved treasure hunter Matthew (Sean Patrick Flannery) from a group of thugs, while at a nearby oil drilling plant, GM Patrick (Drew Waters) is attempting to control all the unexplained mechanical mishaps that are plaguing the refinery so the higher ups don't show up and discover the stash he and an underling is trying to discreetly unload hidden in the basement. Anyway, for his services in protecting Matthew's ass, he enlists the man into taking two doctors, Alicia (Victoria Pratt) and Phillip (Nate Rubin), to drop off medical supplies at a small village plagued by a strange illness. Although he's none to happy to take a break from his search, he finally agrees for a nominal fee. Along the way, he reveals that he's hunting for the treasure of Gengis Khan, and the thugs from earlier have been financing his little operation. The head thug, Kowlan (Billy Blair), has begun to get impatient with his lack of progress, and takes the three captive. Oh, and by the way, there's some subplot about the drilling plant's state-of-the-art technique awakening the legendary Mongolian death worms, sending the hungry critters to the surface en masse.

Let's just jump right into it. The reason anyone, myself included, would pop this in is for the creatures themselves. Wow, do they disappoint. Look at those things. Upwards of a hundred feet long, they look fast as hell, and mean enough to take the graboids' spot as supreme underground bad-ass. Well folks, that's not quite the monster we get here. The Mongolian death worms we actually get are more akin to Mongolian death slugs weighing out to maybe ten feet. And like most slugs, they are slow as hell. Hard to be scared of a creature you can literally lose in a pursuit via brisk walk; to say nothing of the fact that they can be dropped with a single gun shot. Also, although it's not as well known as Bigfoot or Nessie, the Mongolian death worm is an actual cryptoid; the legendary creature boasts as impressive array of weaponry including firing both acid and arcs of electricity. Our slugs have neither projectile. I'm sure the primary reasoning was financial, but it's still pretty lame that you're going to make a movie based on a mythological creature and ignore some very nifty traits like that.

The human side, as expected, does little to nothing in the way of righting this ship. I'm not even going to discuss them one by one, as all performances can safely be summed up with the word, "mediocre". Except for Sean Patrick Flannery, who was flat out bad. As great as he was in Boondock Saints, I sure as hell didn't see that one coming.

In conclusion: go watch Tremors. 2.5/10.
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