Stan Marsh / Eric Cartman / TV Announcer / Tom the News Reader / Mitch the News Reporter / Randy Marsh / Interviewee #2 / Interviewee #3 / Mr. Mackey / Scientist #2 / Man in Crowd #3 / Man in Crowd #4 / Stephen Stotch / Ms. Garrison / Tom the Fox News Reader / Officer Barbrady / Man on Rooftop #1 / Man on Rooftop #2 / Mr. Tucker / Man in Community Centre #1 / Soldier / The Crab People / Man at End #1 / Man at End #2 / Man at End #5 / Man at End #6 / Man at End #8 / Man at End #9 / Man at End #10 / Man at End #12 / Man at End #15
(voice)
Kyle Broflovski / Interviewee #1 / Interviewee #4 / Reporter / Republican / Scientist #1 / Man in Crowd #1 / Man in Crowd #2 / Man in Crowd #5 / Gerald Broflovski / Fox News Reporter / Jimbo Kern / Kevin / Army General / Man in Community Centre #2 / Man at End #3 / Man at End #4 / Man at End #7 / Man at End #11 / Man at End #13 / Man at End #14
(voice)
Sharon Marsh / Kevin's Wife / Woman at End #1 / Woman at End #2 / Woman at End #3 / Woman at End #4 / Woman at End #5 / Womat at End #6 / Woman at End #7
(voice)