Wicker Park (2004)

DVD Cover (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)
Mystery, Romance, Romantic Drama, Romantic Mystery
Paul McGuigan Paul McGuigan
Josh Hartnett Josh Hartnett
Rose Byrne Rose Byrne
Matthew Lillard Matthew Lillard
Diane Kruger Diane Kruger
Christopher Cousins Christopher Cousins

7.0 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by bluemeanie
Added: August 07, 2007
Films suck.

For the most part. It's just a simple fact -- mosts films suck, wholly and thoroughly. "Wicker Park" is one of those films. But, it's not so much that it sucks, but how badly it sucks. I remember when it was released in theatres and I toyed with the idea of seeing it, strictly because it had Josh Hartnett in the lead and I would pay the price of a small Mazda to see him shirtless in anything he's in. Good thing I missed it. Then it came to the dollar theatre and the night I went to see it, something was wrong with the projector in that theatre and I had to see something else instead. Thank God for that broken projector. However, a few nights ago, whilst I was walking past the $5.00 bin in Wal-Mart, I came across "Wicker Park" for the third time and laid down the five dollar bill for the purchase.

This film makes about as much sense as a clock with no hands. It chases itself around in circles until it's out of breath and then it just stands there and dances up and down like a flaming moron. Josh Hartnett stars as Matthew, whom we're supposed to believe is a big shot executive, even though he looks like he's late for Mr. Kotter's home room class. He sees this girl he used to date, Lisa (Diane Kruger). We then get flashbacks to when they were dating. Matthew Lillard plays Luke, his best friend, and Rose Byrne plays Alex, who has sex with Matthew and Luke and seems to be obsessed with someone else. Confusing enough for you? This film is a remake of a wonderful French thriller called "Le Appartment". It's a God damned turd is what it is.

Director Paul McGuigan is obviously channeling everyone from David Lynch to Renny Harlin, and he just doesn't seem to know what in the hell he is doing. He's an auto pilot in a plane that crashed before it left the runway. He has cast non-leading man Josh Hartnett in a leading man role. Hartnett is not a bad actor, but he carries a film like a turtle carries a Buick. He just doesn't have the chops. And whomever decided Matthew Lillard needed to take a dramatic turn should be picked up, locked up and left. Lillard can make me laugh -- occasionally -- in that Matthew Lillard "I'm Trying Real Hard And Look Real Pathetic Doing It" way, but he can't make me think and he certainly can't make me feel. Rose Byrne was great in "Sunshine" which I just saw, but not here. Whoof. The only bright spot of this ninety minute brain freeze was the credits.

In summation, this film was not really worth this lengthy a review. There's a reason it's in the $5.00 bin at Wal-Mart and not in the $13.95 rack. It sucks. In every dimension imaginable, it would suck. On every planet in our solar system, it would suck. Other solar systems, it would suck. If there were only one copy of "Wicker Man" left in the world and it was worth $1,000,000.00 and it was about to burned in a warehouse fire in Connecticut and I was the only one who could save it and collect the amount it was worth -- I would charter a plane, load it full of gasoline and have that plane dump it on the fire. That's how badly this film sucks.

Oh -- did I mention it sucks?
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Chad #1: Chad - added 08/07/2007, 05:31 PM
Looks like we've both been striking out in the bargain bin. At least I managed to cobble together the entire Rambo series out of there last week.
grain of sand #2: grain of sand - added 08/07/2007, 09:17 PM
I liked a song on this soundtrack, that's the only good I got outta this
Tristan #3: Tristan - added 08/07/2007, 10:47 PM
Meh, I didn't mind it. And yes, the soundtrack was much much better than the movie. It actually got me hooked on a few different bands.
bluemeanie #4: bluemeanie - added 08/08/2007, 09:56 AM
I wish I could even give it credit for that. Alas, I already listened to just about every band on the soundtrack. So that left me nothing.
Tristan #5: Tristan - added 08/08/2007, 11:25 AM
I don't know. It wasn't a completely original story, but I did find it pretty interesting. And it wasn't just a typical shitty romance film, it actually had a darker side, which was nice. I haven't seen it in about 3 years, but I'd give it another viewing, for sure.
ThunderStruck5a #6: ThunderStruck5a - added 08/08/2007, 12:16 PM
ive seen worse . . . i had never seen a story a lot like it before and i wanted to know what the girl's deal was so i was able to enjoy it for what it was. its no masterpiece though.
Melissa #7: Melissa - added 11/27/2007, 10:22 PM
I don't see why most people don't like this movie.. It keeps you guessing and shows that no matter what, Lisa and Matthew were meant to be. It's nothing like any other typical romance movie out there.
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