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Rap Sucks (2011)

DVD Cover (Grimoire)
Genres:
Black Comedy, Comedy, Musical Comedy
Director:
Bill Zebub Bill Zebub
Starring:
Ida Barklund Ida Barklund
Bill Zebub Bill Zebub
Erin Hiatt Erin Hiatt
Lucy Spain Lucy Spain
Tamara Forward Tamara Forward

4.1 / 10 - Overall Rating

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Review by Bill Wolford
Added: September 02, 2011
I'm finding it hard to describe this film in words. Somehow I have to, since this is the review. I'll start with a line I read about the film, "Rap Sucks - And So Does This Film". Its listed as a comedy, and I didn't laugh once. It had the first ever fart joke that I didn't laugh at. In one of my earlier reviews, I listed Goblin(from the 1980's) as the worst film I'd ever seen. Well, this has taken the crown and makes Goblin look ready for an Academy Award Nominee. So on to the review.

Bill (Bill Zebub) hates rap. He also hates minorities, society and misuse of the English language. Bill is angry about these things, but not as angry as the women who sit around and discuss these things at length while playing a Dungeons & Dragons style game. Bill keeps losing girlfriends because of his views, and his allegedly "small package". Melissa (Ida Barklund) sees through these things to the romantic guy on the inside and falls for him, despite his "Shortcomings".

That's pretty much everything that happens in the film. It's a no budget affair that pads out its EXTREMELY long one-hundred minute running time with many scenes that run way too long, and random strip scenes (about the only good thing in the film). The acting is quite poor all around (Ida could have some promise in the future, if she works at it), and at some points you're left wondering if there is even a script as you see actors flubbing lines and laughing at other actor's lines. The editing is non-existent (you know it's bad when a stripper almost falls down trying to take off her underwear while she's trying to be sexy and it gets left in the final cut).

The film is so very random. Every fifteen minutes or so, you get a clip of a death metal band playing live for a minute or so, and then one of the band members speaking to the camera in a foreign language. There are no subtitles, so you have no idea what the hell they are saying. If you do like death metal, it will be the best thing about the film for you. There is a soundtrack if you are interested, and you can find information about it at billzebub.com.

I am not sure if it's intentional or not, but it seems as if the movie tries to be offensive, and winds up being stupid and falling flat on its face instead. I know Bill Zebub has a cult following, and maybe I just don't "get it" when it comes to his style of film-making. But I've watched tons of movies in all genres, so I have a good idea of what I feel is good and what is bad. I can understand, and even like some "so bad it's good" movies, and shot-on-video movies with a low budget. This is just a bad film, period. Even if you are a hardcore death metal fan, I'd stay away from this and get the soundtrack instead.

This is shot in widescreen and picture and color are fine, as they should be for a film shot on video in 2011. The extras include an uncut interview with Peter Steele (from Type O Negative; the DVD cover says Steel, and I believe it's supposed to be Steele), a blooper reel, extended scenes, and full credits for all of the music in the film. 0/10.
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